CeLPHiS << aBRaM >> MoRPHiN

[] WeLCoMe 2008 []

2008-01-11T01:55:00.000-08:00

Muli ay nagtapos nanaman ang isang masayang taon... Matatandaan natin ang mga masasayang gawa at malulungkot na alaala... mga mapapait na katotohanan at mga nakakagagung kalokohan... mga makukulit na tagpuan at mga nakapanlulumong kalimutan.... lahat ng mga naganap ay naganap na. Ngayon ay nakaharap na tayong muli sa isang blankong pahina... Anu ang gagawin at anu ang iwawaksi... anu ang mangyayari at anu ang pipigilang mangyari.... anung bagong pakulo at anung nakatitisod na biro.... lahat ito ay naksalalay sa atin... at ito ay masusulat sa blankong pahinang nasa harap natin ngaun... ang ika-2008 pahina ng ating buhay ay narito na nga....

Simulan ko ang pahina ko sa isang malaking pasabog....

1.... 2... 3...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Maligayang pagdating 2008 at paalam sa guranging 2007....

[] So MuCH FoR CHRiSTMaS []

2007-12-23T12:57:00.000-08:00

Jingle bells, jingle bells~~

The cold wind rushes to my back as i sit here rounding up ideas on what I am to post. It is day before the big great Christmas day arrives. If you mind asking, No, I don't give much damn in giving, much more in receiving (uhmmm... well that can ac2ually be talked about... aahehe) But really, Christmas arrives in our home just like a dinner party. Our family stopped the tradition of giving gifts on Christmas day when I reached High School. Maybe, they thought we were already to big for gifts and, just maybe, gifts for adults/teen aren't that cheap and uncomplicated as those for the youngsters.

As I could reminisce from the past, Christmas day is a reunion day for the clan on my mother's side ( my father's side is during new year). We use to have kiddie games for the clan whenever we meet. But it also stopped, cause it turns out that the kiddies aren't too kiddies to play anymore. I could remember P100 prizes during that time and you can earn big time by being the best in all the games. We also have prizes such as "most dressed" and "best talent" which should also give you ample amount of money. Our elderly used to have fun watching us kiddies as we swerve and glide through the stage to catch attention (you know us, we started at the same foot right? well not if you're retarded though... ). This is why money was spilling like water in a bathtub with open faucet. But days have passed, the elders look up on us not as kiddies now but as grown-ups. No more Santa Claus costumes, No more cute looking food, no more games nor events- NO MORE KIDDIE STUFF.

We greet the Christmas day now with champaign puffin and a toss (you know what i mean, right? I don't know the right spelling... spare me, it is christmas!) We meet the Christmas joy with neat and formal clothing. No more crazy stuff happening cause attention isn't the kid's wish anymore, but rather BMW Z4 or a brand new laptop/palm top ( i do believe palm top is better though.. ughhh ughhh.. hope someone hears.. tech geek... wang wang) But not me, I always crave for that Big A ( but also for a Z4 and tech stuff... ughh ughh). I do all my stuff simply to impress, and to let people feel my presence. If anyone ever pose to me and act elderly, I would slap him. Remeber! no man could ever not want to go back to being a kid again. ( Well maybe, not unless, you were raped and molested by your elderly!! haha..)

No complains, No explains!
( inspired from what JDL says against WR ~ pinoy's you should know them..and don't mind the grammatic error, i inteded it!)

But, its all in the past now, and I can n ever go back on it. Life is easy : you move forward and never look back (line from Tokyo drift.... I still think Eleanor would win if vin diesel and the other guy's battle was showed... NOTHING BEATS A TRUE AMERICAN MUSCLE CAR... especially a CORVETTE!. so much for a side comment... haha..). All we could do now is remenisce, no more backing off grown-ups..

kid's becomes grown-ups but only true men knows that they came from kids.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~ in a one horse open sleigh....

[] DaHiLaN Sa LiKoD Ng KaBuLuHaN []

2007-12-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

Wala nanaman akong maisip na isulat. Walang kabuluhan ang mga pangyayari, wala man lang nagbigay ng push sa akin para may mapagusapan. Kaya ito ako, nagiisip na naman ng small-time na balita para pagka-utuan.

Nagka-strike last thursday at hindi ko alam na meron pala ganun hanggang matagpuan ko na lang ang sarili kong naglalakad papuntang Philcoa dahil wala masakyan. Gusto ko sana pag-usapan ang mga ganitong pangyayari kaya lang, ambaho ng tema. Gasgas na naman na gawain yan ng mga dyipny driver natin. Pag may gusto, strike tau, wala nanaman masakyan. Badtrip. mga motorista nanaman pinagkaisahan. Di ba nila alam may kotse ang politiko, di rin naman sila maririnig nun, namerwisyo lang sila. Dapat sinunog nila mga kotse ng politiko sabay strike, mahihina kokote, hai.
( ito galit na dulot ng baldeng tumatagaktak na pawis habang naglalakad palabas ng UP )

Kung mapapansin ninyo.. (dahil sa papansin ako..) ay tagalog ang medyum na ginagamit ko ngayon. Hindi ko ba alam pero tinamaan ata ako ng titser ko sa Fil. paking shet daw mga Pilipinong mas iniintindi ang pagpapalawak sa ingles kesa sa sariling wika. Ambantot man magsalita ng titser ko dun ay, maluphet naman un. Actually, may libro kasi akong nabasa na dapat ang Pilipino para sa Pinoy, kaya dapat pag nagsusulat ang asintahin mo mga kababayan mo. Kaya anu pa bang paraan ang magpapalapit sa akin sa kanila, kung hindi ang wika ng bayan... (cheers... claps.... ) hay, im so proud of my self este... ipinagmamalaki ko ang sarili ko! Saka nasabi din ng Highschool teacher ko na may ka-gurangan, mas masarap sumulat sa Filipino kasi mas malambing at mas matalinhaga. Hindi naman tula ang isinusulat ko pero masarap pakinggan... MATAAAALINNNNHAAAGAA... MATALIIIINNNHHHAAaaGGAAAaa... (repeat fading.... sa utak ng isang gago..)

Kaya dahil gullible ako at mapang-uto sa mga sinasabi ng mga tao, ito ako nagsusulat sa tagalog. Maraming typo yan, wag ninyo nang bilangin, hindi yan sadya pero kasi ayaw ko nang baguhin. you know, tamad ang taong 'to. Saka mas masaya pag direkta mula sa utak ang nababasa, nakaka-gagu di ba? ito ang kwento ng pagbabagong anyo... parang zaido lang....

P.S. Ambantot ng costume ng Zaido... obvious na cardboard, parang may hydrocephalus sila pag nagtransform... Pilipino talaga... manggagaya na lang, palapak pa... hayz.. AMBANTOT!

[] ReKLaMo Ng iSaNG MaSKuLiNiSTa []

2007-12-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

Sa isang tahimik na sulok ng parking lot sa simbahan... At habang ako at mga kasama ko aytinamad pumasok sa simbahan para sa misa... aming natunghayan ang ganap na ito...

Batang Lalaki: Anu nanaman ginagawa ninyo dito?
Batang Babae: Uupo.. bakit? Inyo ba ito?
Batang Lalaki: Umalis kayo dito.. gusto nu tawagin ko ang PBDT (o kung anu mangcombinasyonng letra ang nabanggit nya.. ang alam ko lang... napangisi ako sa pagkasabi nyanito..)
Batang Babae: Yack Bakla ... Papatol sa babae... ewww...
Batang Lalake: May crush ka lang siguro sakin.. kya punta ka ng punta dito... (pilit tatawa...)
Batang Babae: ULOL! BAKLA KA!! BAKLA!!...

Huwag na nating i-exaggerate ang kwento... wag na nating paluhain ang lalaki.. Basta simpleng Katapusan... umalis na nagngingitngit ang batang lalaki papunta sa kanyang parents... kawawa naman.. (*evil grin)

Kung panahon siguro ito ng nakaraan at binastos mo ng ganito si Lapu-lapu... Siguro iba ang katapusan... Malamang -lamang lulutang-lutang ang ulo mo sa may ilog sa cebu... Kung panahon naman ito ng mga prayle... malamang - lamang.. nasa kwarto ka ng mga sakristan at pinagpyepyestahan na ang katawan mo ng sandaan na pareng panot na kating kati na ang balls.. salit-salitan parang class schedule.. ("Oh.. Father Geronimo.. ikaw naman... nakaraos na ako eh...") Sa makatuwid, tuluyan na ngang nagbago ang mga kababaihan sa mata ng mundo. Kasing pagtataka ko sa kahulugan ng PBDT (o kung anu man... hayz), Bakit kaya? Paano na ang mga lalaki?

Nagkaroon ng isang "Feminist value" ang mundo kesyo pantay daw dapat ang turing sa mga kababaihan.. Sino namang balbal ang nag-pauso nito... Hindi ko lang alam pero malamang-lamang sa past life nya, siya iyung pinugutan ni Lapu-lapu at pinag-pyestahan ng mga prayleng panot na makati ang balls... Kaya ngaun nag-amotok at isiniwalat ang walang ka kwenta kwentang idealismo na ito... Pero hindi ba kayo nagtataka na sa ngayon... winawalang-hiya na ng mga kababaihan ang lalaki? Pano naman si Adan? Tadyang lang naman natin si Eba di ba?

Maskuli-nista ( hango sa femi-nista.. haha.. wala kong maisip na ibang pangalan eh...) ang sagot sa kabalbalan ng mga babae. Aba, dapat din namang may humadlang sa ka-hudluman( di ko alam ang meaning... alam ko lang ganun siya gamitin.. walang pakialamanan..) ng mga kababaihan... Pangunahan natin ang bantayog ng mga lalaki,... (whew.. sigawan with matching banner at confetti..)

Ito ang pagsisiwalat sa mga ka-apihan sa mga kalalakihan na dulot ng mga walang hiyang feminista n yan...

> Bakit ang lalaki, pag pumatol sa babae, bakla... pero pag babae, pumatol sa lalaki, hindi tomboy? <

ang laki-laki ng impact na ito sa mga kalalakihan.. ALAM NYO BA YON!!!??? kung lalaki kayo, dapat lang... alanga naman tumango ka pag sinabihan ka nito.. (walang sexual orientation discrimination ha... masama lang ito pag ginamit pang-insulot... sisihin ninyo kababaihan sila nagpauso nyan..)

> Bakit dapat lalaki manligaw? <

bakit dapat kami magpaka-hirap... samantalang dati, hahatakin mo lng ang babae, hawakan mo sa kamay... BWALA! kayo na at pwede na ikasal... Eh ngayon... may kilala ako... 3 taon na nanunuyo... pero deadma lang... hai... Porket lang kasi babae, mahinhin daw... dapat sila ang namimili... ABA! anu kami tsokolate sa tindahan... tapos pag wala na tamis, idudura... hmmm.. masama yan...

> Bakit walang "masculine wash"? <

Wala bang karapatan maging malinis ang kasingit-singitan ng mga lalaki? Porket ba umiitim ito, di na dapat bigyan ng sariling pang hilamos... aba... sumusobra na ata kayo... Anu gusto nyo maging sa mga bantayog ng lalaki? T*t*ng-grasa?

> Bakit kami okay lang mang kabit pero pag babae dapat hind? (at marami pang iba na ganito ang tema *pag-inom.. pag-night club... pag-aaya ng sex etc.) <

Sabi nila okay pagka-ganun... pero! Anu ang gusto ninyo sabihin? Na lahat ng kamunduhan at kasalanan ay dulot ng mga lalaki... nagmamalinis naman ata kayo... naamoy din namin ang lansa ninyo ah... di hamak na mas maiitim ang budhi ninyo... hmmm... ang dyos nga di ba lalaki? di ba? ibig sabhin si Jesus, Mohammad, buddah at kung sinu pang Dyos ay lasengo din?

Inaantok lang ako, kaya wala na ako ibang mai-sulat na pang-aapi... pero marami pa!! aabutin ako malamang-lamang na uugod-ugod pag natapos ko ilista ang mga kasalanan ninyo... kung dati pantay-pantay ang tema ng peminista? Eh ngaun, "destroy the males" na.. may-isyu pa nga na babae pwedeng mabuhay sa mundo kahit walang lalaki dahil sa pagkaka-clone kay Dolly (hindi si carvajal... kundi ung anak ng tupa..).. aba... bat iyon ang naisip nila... hindi ba nila alam, LALAKI ang naka diskubre ng paraang ito... kapal ah... si pareng Ian... Ian Wilmut... eh kung, tawagan ko kaya siya at wag ituro sa inyo... mabubuhay kaya kayo ng wala kaming lalaki,... hindi pwedeng si pareng Ian lang... katibak ko yun... dapat lahat...

Ipaglaban si Adan, ang patron ng kalalakihan (di ba?)? Pabagsakin ang maniil na Peminista... at sunugin natin ang ulo nila sa plaza... haha....

Disclaimer : wala lang talaga ko magawa... bear with me... adik ata ako.. peace tayo girls...

[] KaLaYaaN !? []

2007-11-29T00:28:00.000-08:00

Something dramatic is cooking in Manila Peninsula right this very moment. The country is back into turmoil as the speeding economy is infected by another mutiny lead by the same group who attacked the Oakwood Hotel in the past. The "Magdalo", whose name popularized by the same party of the late great hero Emilio Aguinaldo, has come back maybe to regain the freedom they have never won.

I actually don't know if I am in any side. The blabbering of both opposites have created this very event. Who are we to blame? Do we point at the government whose legitimacy as the administration is legal or the mutineers whose only request is the freedom and the good of all Filipinos? What has happened to our country? Countrymen against countrymen; brothers against brothers; comrades against comrades. We all came from the same ancestral roots but these differences coveted by our culture has timidly destroyed our way to bridge all gaps. How sad could it have been that the same blood cannot combine as one, but rather clog the very vein of the country's future?

Tomorrow, November 30, is the Bonifacio day. Bonifacio is the leader of the KKK, main Filipino force that drove off all the invaders that tried to conquer the country. He and his comrades fought for the very reason we now call freedom. Kalayaan - Is it still the real translation of freedom or simply a high way somewhere in the metro? Do we really have freedom? As I watch and comic myself in the reality that is happening, I cannot stop and wonder, what could have Bonifacio said to the events as of the time being? Could he have congratulated the Magdalo for fighting the same reason they have fought for? Could he have supported the government and consider these mutiny a spoiler of peace, brought about by the freedom they have fought for?

I know I am not a man good enough as Bonifacio. I don't even know if my comment can make a big impact in our failing country. Nevertheless, I am up to the challenge of saying what i believe is the truth. I couldn't simply sit here and watch as blood shed might water our motherland - not just mine, nor the government nor the mutineers but OURS.

We are all here to live for the country, not to battle out who leads it. It might be essential to have a good leader but what could a leader be if it has no constituents? Just like what an org-mate of mine once said: " If your are the captain of the ship, what is the use if you've got no boat to lead?" as she comics a popular saying. But isn't it true? As they gun each other off inside that building, what is the use if they die? Where is Kalayaan? What freedom do we really have? Has Bonifacio won these freedom simply to start a war within the country? What is the use of all their deaths?

I might not know how to do it, but I know that the only way to patch up all the wounds is to learn to be one. We need to stand up with each other, not as a part of the administration nor as an opposition. We stand for our country. I blame them all! If only they could have thought of the country and not their own selfish intuitions, I believe that these internal infestation could not have grown in our culture. Could anyone, whose only dedication is the country, be at peace during this period? No, because guns aren't shot at brothers, comrades nor countrymen rather enemies that would want to take away our "Filipino-ness". What more guns can we shoot when that enemies would ever come, if all our ammunitions has been waisted struck in each others breast?

Ang Kalayaan at ang Pilipinas ay para sa mga Pinoy at hindi lamang sa iilan. Kaya't wag nating sayangin ang pinaghirapan ni Bonifacio at lahat ng mga ninuno natin. Wag natin silang bigyan ng kahihiyan sa mundo. Kalayaan at Katarungann para sa lahat. Itigil natin ang kabaliwan. Alam nating hindi ito matatapos sa isang upuan, subalit wag naman nating hayaan na putok ng baril at sabog ng mga bomba ang magsilbing pangusapan.

There are two freedoms - the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought.
~Charles Kingsley

[] BuSy MoNTH of NoVeMBeR []

2007-11-28T01:56:00.001-08:00

I have been at lost and busy this ending month of November. Which is why I have not posted for sometime. I had many times in front of the computer but because nothing pops out of my mind and I had papers and stuffs to do, I wasn't able to put attention on my blog. But past is past, what is important is the present and the future. I am now back ~again...

It is during this month that classes resume after the mid-sem break. And because our university's administration is so intelligent and would want to level with other IT schools, a new method of enrollment was done. They told students that it was a better way so as not to make the enrollment a hassle for everyone. But, after undergoing grueling hours in line and being dismayed by rejected schedules, I realized that our administration cannot do any better than put burden to its students.I've got 18 units for this semester. I actually love the roster of subjects I have chosen and the teachers who mentored on them. My schedule isn't really that crowded. I even consider it as a very ideal one because, just like my 1st semester schedule, I get to go home early and free myself from all these academic ambiance.

I don't know if the typhoons have already passed. I forgot to see the news for any updates. But I just want to say how cool that we were able to experience such a strange phenomena. 3 typhoons (Lando, Mina and Nonoy) appears to have directed to our country and devastated the nation all at the same time. Well, sorry for those that were affected by the typhoon but I don't get to make sorrows on such events that comes least from our expectations. Though having the 3 typhoons, classes weren't canceled and that makes the bad news of a very cool event. An earthquake also struck Manila. I was at class during that time and it was when I realized how evil i was. i actually thought that the person at the back kicked my sit and I was about to react when we realized it was actually the earth that interrupted us. After the earthquake, our classes in the morning were canceled but resumed during the afternoon, so much for environmental intervention.

If you have already visited my blog it must be that you noticed that something new was up. It was one during one night, after playing my ever beloved game, that I took initiative and view my blog page. It is then that I realize that my template is kind of small and need an overhaul. So here is the result of 1 night of creative intercession. Have fun and thank you for visiting my nonsensical blog. Feel free to hear the music I listen, to read the posts that I wrote and to be amazed by a very stupid template.

[] ZiPaC []

2007-11-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to me. After a week rest and gloriously celebrating the UNDAS ( its not equal to UNO and DOS... its actually equal to UNO - 1 and Das - a spanish term meaning day... I learned that, the morning I asked people why UNDAS and not UNDOS! haha... shame on me.. thanks budsk for that information...) somewhere in the middle of the Philippines, I am all set for the hagardous days to come. Gone are the resting hours and the happy-go-lucky times. I must go forth with my life after that peaceful engagement with nature. But before ever leaving off the past and venturing to my present and my future, I would like to inform you all that I've seen the other side of the world.

I have been here in my computer desk, living a life centered in the midst of technology. I thought everything was easy with all the stuff and gadgets that we have. But traveling to a place, where progress is not of immediate concern, showed me that their was something better. Their is something better than having a mechanized life, where all things are too organized it chokes you into it; better than your french fries that needs ketchup to balance the flavor; better than appliances that shuts you off of your perseverance. It takes a week of living in some mountain range where the sea is its base for a teen like me to understand that I've never seen everything yet.

Ever want to know where I've gone? Here are some of the things that makes my image of that somewhere:

It is a place you would...

>> appreciate sea foods (even small fishes) because the taste was so supreme that it takes no condiments to fix things up...

>> understand the difference between "panggatong"-cooked and stove-cooked meals... (rice is better cooked in "panggatong"... promise..)

>> see a rampaging priest over a broken microphone in the middle of the celebration of the holy eucharist... ( he even threw it to the person in charge.. I was so shocked that I drop my jaw down because of the his reaction)

>> find a single mall in a town and not even having Ayala, SM and Robinson in its name. (there were rumors that SM wasn't given permit to build there because the town's leader owns the said mall...)

>> like to go home when the clock hits 6pm because almost all stores and shops closes at that time... ( it seems creepy when the only light you see is the street light...)

>> pay P60 for a tricycle ride for about the same distance as UP - diliman to SM North... ( actually it changes: 55 when the sun is up but a sorrowful 60 when the lights are out...)

>> take refuge in the worst Airport and Seaport... (my nephew told me that... spare me the guilt...)

>> dis-orient your senses... ( wake up with the sound of noisy roosters and smelly pigs...)

>> smile and nod in everything you hear because you simply dont understand; and if ever you understand you wouldn't know how to communicate back...

>> discover that the only person that gets the higher priced items in the market are those who looks like from another place...

>> notice people staring at tourist (local or international..) as if they have one eye and a million mouth...

>> learn people calls you by your ancestral being... (they call me... "puya ni Viring"- child of Viring... Viring is taken from my mother's name Virginia who lived there during their childhood days...)

>> take sight of the highest shrine ( we climbed that... I wish that adds to my Holy-ness..) and the biggest bell in asia and third in the world (it was made out of 70 bags of coins...whew!)..

I have experience much in my visit there. It was not all fun, but each and every act i've done made me a better person. What I have here in the city is very much different from what I was in the province. It was more minimal but though that set-up, I did not have a hard time dealing with things. It is more leisure than work. I would love to go back there and experience more of that place. I might be back there next summer and hope that you yourself would care to visit such a wonderful place...

[] WoRK MaTTeRS []

2007-10-26T00:22:00.000-07:00

I am a day and a half away from leaving off again to somewhere. Ive been telling my friends its somewhere in the middle of the Philippines so I must tell you the same simply to avoid the jealousy (haha) . Before I ever go leave again, I thought of posting another entry. I might be off for a little while (about a week... Il be back on Sunday 11/04/07) so better yet leave a little issue on you people.

When would the Government argue with morality and the Religion on Ethics? I must answer the question with a simple word as "NEVER". However, it appears that my country is an exception. Well, for those who might not know, My home land is a 3rd world country somewhere in the south east of asia. It is an archipelagic country artfully tagged as "The Pearl of the Orient Seas." We have been devastated by political turmoil for as long as I can remember and I believe these very thing caused us this inappropriate disturbances.

I don't like discussing things political in nature but I cannot simply disregard these happenings that I have heard over the media about the reactions regarding the presidential clemency given to the past president (the president befor the present one..) of our country, guilty of Plunder. What was the thing that bothered me the most? Over the radio, a bishop, which we better hide the name for civility sake, says "Sana pagisipan na lang nila bago sila magbigay ng pardon.." ( I hope they think things up before simply giving pardon...)

.

He, the bishop, is actually on the side of not letting the 70+ old president off. I must say that I myself wouldn't want that old rag to be walking on the street again. However, where have gone the "let's forgive everybody eventhough they've done wrong " value of the church? How about the " Even God forgives why can't you" principle? It is simply problematic that people could be too tactful to go against their own art, especially those that are known for not just doing the art but being the art. Couldn't he at least say " what ever happens is God's will, lets not go against it..." ?

The CBCP forever has been peeking into government issues. I simply don't know with them, but weren't their a dichotomy over the two main sectors of the country? What are they interfering for? I simply think such matters of discourse is not a part of their holy-ness and there ultimate wisdom of the bible. This misevalutation of the dichotomy has made a big problem for the country. The bishops stand on their ground saying they are good so listen to them (We are the Word of God.. ??? what damn blasphemers...) but they, driving into the state's war, have devalued their good nature. Like the statesman, theyv'e all gone to be the same ravishing beast of power, hoping to be the one believed by the mass. Shameless are they for they have forgotten the word of God... ( can I be a bishop now? I'm better than them... not a good joke... I'L NEVER BE A BISHOP!!)

[] Sem Break []

2007-10-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'm technically free as a student. The sem-break has already began. I have many plans for this month, some of which involves me getting off the Metro. Ive been trying to do stuff off of the polluted city streets and within the confines of mother nature. What fun must have awaited me for so long? I do believe I am worth having a comfortable vacation after a hard-sem's work. After this I'd be back to the university again, doing academic works and making sure a good resume may arrive after my school years(damn all the people... do we really have to study to get a high paying job? hmmm). So, it is just right for me to have a break with all the stress.

I was somewhere in the northern part of the country last week. I really thought it would be cold out there but to my dismay, Its simply as cold as our car's aircon. Yes, it is quiet cold but not as cold as it used to be ( I've been there before... a couple of time earlier). I didn't even need to use my sweater / jacket ( I actually brought 3 sets) to be able to carry on with my adventures there.( I used the jackets though.. bandwagon... everyone was wearing one... hahaha..) Though not approved of what have met me there, I still had fun. Its actually not the temperature that we visited rather the stress-free ambiance. One of my companions even suggested to us that sleeping under the pine trees does well to your self-conception. I would want to try that but I was too ashamed to do so. (Maybe next time when no one is looking at me...)

Here are some pictures:

( i'v also posted this in my friendster account.. and there are also more there not posted here.. hehe...)

113th step... and still more to go... urghhh...

Shhh... Holy Sanctuary... Psst! PICTURE!

This is what we call non-sense shots... here we have myself... Following Rules...

( so not abram!)

Almost a day ending in mines view...

Another non-sense take... wooo... a sight to behold...

( we namedBaguio - "Comfort room Capital of the Philippines... you'll usually find many of these here..haha...)

One of the best food... grilled coconut in banana leaves...

they call it here... "tupig"

Technically, the biggest strawberry I ever saw...

(We shot this while my parents was busy buying fresh vegetables in La Trinidad.. )

ohhh... We were too late... We planned to pick strawberries fresh... but we came too late...hayz...

The Lumbang brothers minus one... the other one was in subic that time...

(shot inside our ride)

The other side... and now smiling...

Another shot...

(If you bother to ask... The white thing on my cheek is powder... I was eating bavarian cream doughnut before that shot...)

Waiting for snacks to be served... let's have a picture first moment... haha...

By the pine tree with my dad...

Pose for the camera... Yiiii...
(My favorite shot of that vacation... nice one, isn't it?)

You know what, getting a day off or a rest period isn't that bad. I assure you the more relax you can be, after you go back from the vacation, the better you do when you continue your daily choirs. Don't deprive yourself with even a little fun.

[] DiSDaiNFuL PuRPoSe []

2007-10-14T20:54:00.001-07:00

What is the purpose of life? It is much of a hassle to ask the question. Can it really be that objective? On the first place, does life really had a purpose? My mind cannot decipher an exact answer to the question. Must it have been that even I who tried to live in this foolish life of mine hasn't seen any purpose for my existence?

I went to philosphy not knowing where I might end up one day. Should I be running an extravagant company in the middle of makati, a sales agent in one of the big malls in our country or maybe a call center agent speaking accented english over a phone talking to a blonde lady buying electonic appliances? This idea enters my mind oftenly since I went deciding my future over a course which does not promise a million-bucks-salary after graduation. People around me even joked that i might become an old hogged intellectual sitting under a tree looking up the sky asking : " Is their God?" Would I ever be a stereo-typed philosopher in the middle of the forest or the mountain ranges of sierra madre ( random choice... I was just there a week ago... haha) ?

I wouldn't want to end up like that. I would like to be an intellectual but never a nomad. But even knowing my occupation in the future doesn't give me the answer on the purpose of my life. I hate myself for venturing on things in my life eventhough I don't know any reason for me to do so. Almost everyone knows how happy-go-lucky I am. Without any hesitation I'd find myself in places I don't know where to or what for. I usually am in trouble because of my adventurous instinct but people around me are always there to help. Is this all that I am? Am i purposed to make problems and be saved afterwards?

I give a big deal on my purpose. No one exist for nothing, I so do believe. I hate not knowing what I am for. Taking to consideration the worlds magnanimity, what is my part in it? Am I just a dust, an add-on to this world whose beauty incompassable? Can I simply be nothing? Do I exist for that matter, for only the existing does have purpose? We should ask Descartes on that matter. Can he prove my existence?
(very philosophical... oohh.. please... its sembreak... haha)

I cannot arrive to any answer. I failed myself for I cannot see an importance to my existence. I'm nothing but a blank canvass waiting an artist to paint my art. Nothing is in my future for nothing is seen through me. Could I ever find an answer? That I couldn't answer but I believe I do have a purpose. I exist ain't I? Maybe not now but sometime later. I know it. I'm not just a dust or a hogged nomad. Im for something much better. A millionaire? A star? that i may not know for now. But I know I would be one.

It just might not be worth finding a purpose for now. But i'll live my days finding one. And as long as i am here. I have a purpose. I must have one. I do have one.

[] PRoFeSSioNaLiSM []

2007-09-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

I hate people who comments as if they know the thing at hand. Ever found a lawyer telling a doctor he just amputated the wrong organ? an architect telling an archaeologist that he is stepping on a big chunk of lava stones? I just don't get people who judges work based on their own perception and asserts that what they have said is true. Can it make sense to tell me that I had not done my purpose? Does he even know what my purpose was? Can he even give an accurate account of what he calls short-handedness?

I was born with a purpose! You may judge me now on my character, my indulgences or even my physical stature, but never slam on my face a comment on my work. At any rate, you know not of how I see the world and how I want it to be. No one is enough to blurt out issues on my own schema for everyone is entitled to his own.

Not all people cry on the loads they bear. Some, which includes me, does not give a hell damn of my time on mourning for it'll just paralyze my own sense of professionalism. If your idea of being a good worker is seeing to it that people could see the weight of your burden, then the world could not have been like it is now. If Rizal, at his shoot out, crippled with fear of death he must not have faced his murderers and patriotism at that high a caliber could not have emerged? If Pope John Paul II winced on his assassination could he have lived a little more to help the world? Does that idea of a pressured image bring about hard work? I don't think so.

Commenting on something that is out of your own boundaries is the stupidiest thing you would ever do to yourself. Sorry to tell you but I think your rationality has made you dull. Life is not a black and white picture that you could easilly see the difference of one part with the other. Don't play intelligent cause it would never fit you if you understand the world in the dumbest way.

[] oN BeiNG a PHiLoSoPHeR []

2007-09-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

I have been poetic, as i have seen my insights from the past. But it collides with my current occupation as a philosopher. I don't know if I can still give justice to my insights but as far as I may concern, what I would want to write is a feature literary. I must make the idea sound but compeling, Something a kid may understand at his first reading.

I read through my articles and have seen a progressive form of writing, from simple "parinigan" and symbolism to going straight to the point and unwinding. I don't get why my form of blogging changed but, honestly, I loved the way i do it in the past than how I do it now. Today, I rather resort with stories of my life to explain life's phenomena than trying to artistically elaborating into a topic. As I read it too, I get poorer in english. I am not "spell check"-ing anymore the words when I write in my blog cause one of the reason I made it is to furnish my english and literary skills. But looks like it has gone a long way out of my endeavors.

What might be happening is a maturity, I think. From finding form to finding sense, the development is trying to make sense out of a picture than making form out of a sense. In other words, If I have still been the same, I would have elaborated on the next topic which is Development. I would use figurative language to make sure my readers would want it. But, the past has gone, Today I make sense (or so i thought, any violent reactions?).

Have you ever imagined what the world might have been if no man has ever move on to adulthood? Weird thing to see, all people wearing diapers. what if everybody was crying their hearts out and nyao-ing at every pain they get? I rememered just like how they say it in the acad interview, Don't give us the effects as a reason. But I think, sometimes it works well.

First let us answer whether their is really development in our lives. If we assert that their was no development then their would be no man or even life. For a child could not cater for himself how so could he cater another life. In other words no parent means no life. If ideas did not flourish, why then do we have computers and the books? why then could we have had this blog if their was no development? Reducto ad absurdum (is my spelling correct?)- if it makes its own negate then it must be wrong.

Development is the an adaptive stage of being where someone increases a sense in him. Adaptive because to develop we need to see the pros and cons. We learn and incorporate our knowledge from another knowledge. Sense being any physical, mental, psychological or any form of self-being that is change-able.

I first began with showing that development must be true so that we can make a concrete discussion about it. Next, i showed the meaning of it. I was trying to think a next method but as I was starting, i forgot to ask, what question about development should we cater on? Let us say: how does one develop? It is kind of a tought one. (why the hell did I make my life hard, *pish* I must have rather asked how it is spelled.)

Man develops by trying to coupe up with the challenges in life, all from experience. First I would not like to assert that development may come from an innate idea in our mind for if it is innate then it must already been there and not learned. I would not likely too to assert that objective knowledge is part of development for objective means no change which is a big NO for development. No change means no addition. Without addition, which is a major part of development, nothing is learned. Cancellation - the act in which you destroy the other ideas that may be provided to where development may come from therefore making the first statement the only possible answer.

I just don't know if someone may be irrated by the things I said. i simply believe that the arguements I have given is enough to make one think that development came from experience. Another way of trying to ellaborate on it (and which is an easier way of explaining) is an example. When a monkey is hungry what should it do. If it was born with out knowing anything then it must have learned to climb a tree to get banana. But the problem that may arise is a question of "how could he have used climb if their was no sense of climbing on the first palce?" We may say therefor that climbing is an idea which pre-exists in the world, but development that we are talking about is regarding the monkey's own intellect. He does not know anything when he is born( I do assume he must not have). Therefor he may have learned that pre-existed idea by analyzing the situation. One may say that if the monkey used his mind then it is not based from experience. But the monkey may have a part of understanding, he may not have had the idea of clmbing after all, he still is using senses to analyze and learn, right? In other words, learning from experience doesn't mean a man without a mind but a man using senses to make the mind work (not to search inside the innate part but to analyze and give a solution).

So much for being a philosopher. I hate making my life miserable but the problem with the world is it cannot really make a final conclusion on anything. Whew! that was a long list. I don't hope for you to have reached this pharagraph. Even I would not want to read something this long. But maybe, just maybe, if you reached this, I must believe you have learned something.

[] Theenkeng []

2007-09-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'll start this entry by asking you people one question. It is something that needs quiet a time to contemplate on. Even I who heard it for the first time, thought it was somekind of a stupid question. But just to make a heck out of something stupid, let's ask it to you.

If ever you get to choose a partner, which one would you choose, someone who pronounces thinking as "thEEnkEEng" or "Tsinking" ?

Here are some answers:

1.) hahaha... weird...

2.) ang gagu mo kuya *** ( lets not exploit people, okay?)

3.) wala... ang definition ko nga ng love ay pronunciation..

Those are just some of the strange answers to a stupid question (it might be edited simply to exagerate the nature of stupidity on the question). Haven't got anything from it but somewhat fun to ask in a group of bored people. It is really non sense. I just don't get it why it retains in my mind since that time a person asked me that. Do you even Theenk and to Tsink about it? Who in his sane mind could think about such a question? I think it is a good and fun academic paper to talk about. To THeenk or To Tsink? which matters most? which makes the kick off?

Another stupid thing I have done yesterday, was to miss my 8:30 class for artstud2. I could honestly say that it wasn't my fault. I woke up early and left at 7 (That is even earlier than most of the time I went to school). I know that I did my best, just like how doctors would say. I was absent last meeting and what I wanted was to make my presence felt the next so that I wouldn't be known for not attending class. Unluckily, I failed! But it wasn't really my fault!

I was riding to school one day. Everything was okay until a traffic jam began. 1.5 hrs or maybe even more( that was just the traffic maybe add another hour which was the ideal time of travel to the university) did I perish under the pressure of time ( cause I would be late) and the heat of the sunshine. Sitting there in the jeepney thinking how unlucky I was for experiencing this at the least time I expected it to. After we got out of the traffic, I realize that all that happened was because of stupid greedy manners of drivers. Their was no accident, no 1 way lane or any other ussual traffic cause, but only a stupid pile of cars not wanting to let anyone get passed them in an intersection without being cut or blocked. Very Insecure people!

That was just great! I missed my class just because of immoral people! Can't they follow simple traffic rules! Their was a traffic light for the information of everyone, but no one did care about it. I believe that their license must be shred off of them. They are not meant for it. And the stupid part too, where are the MMDA when we need them? If they can't do their job why not just demolish that sector of the government. At least make your self useful, We are paying your fat asses with tax (our family is a good tax payer, and I can be proud of that) not to relax but to desintegrate traffic jams in the metro! i would most likely to appreciate men doing job than pink fences and pink urinals (which leaks, especially those in some densely populated places in the metro) in the streets.

Stupid drivers and strange questions, why are things becoming more peculiar everyday? Is it development or rather ravaging deterioration? I just don't see our world going to a better tomorrow. Everyday things worsen. But, so what, their is still tomorrow anyway, and more tomorrows to come...

[] Blanked Mind []

2007-09-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

It is really been strange now a days. Since the dry spell struck the country, it always rains so strong during the night. This night is no difference. Whew! I get chills in my skin because of the cold air that is blowing out through the electric fan. It is actually about 3 inches away from me. Though having such a tingiling sensation, I choose not to close the fan. I think it is better that way rather than feeling excrusiating heat.

Im actually exasperated to the idea that I am starting a new entry with nothing to say. I am sorry but I know that I don't have an idea of what to input here. Nothing strange has happened since my last post. No eruption of emotions; no bad experiences; I got nothing to be proud of or to woe on. I told you my life is boring and that is why I cherish every momentary exciting minutes. Yes, minutes! It actually takes only a second to feel something and about a few minutes to feel the euphoria of whatever you felt. It is always like that. After a minute or two, a surprise, of a birthday party, degrades; the pain, of a break-up, resides and even the humping heart-beat, after a "bulaga" scene in a horror flick, normalizes. i actually don't have much of this so better cherish every moment.

A while ago, I was playing an online game i've been addicted to since highschool. I just don't know why I cannot get rid of it. Maybe its simply my way of going out of reality and making up my own character in a world that not one man says the mean. I get to meet people in it. I even have friends from all the way to Brazil and USA. Hmm.. I actually have no idea again why I shared that part of my life. Strange, don't you think? I am actually not making any sense. My mind is so messed up that I forgot to make a sense of what I was writing. What I am actually doing is writing anything that pops up my mind. It is kind of easier, you know.

Oh, I remembered something for me to be joyful. I have finished my Psychology 101 Research Participation hours. Whew! Isn't it so great? I just started last week and with luck and effort I actually am Finished. Doing a research participation isn't that hard actually it's the gut to go to the experiment that makes it quiet an adventure. Sometimes you would think that the proctors might cut your head off and play with your brain or maybe electecute you and ask what an elephant would look like. Strange ideas would enter your mind as you wait in line. But due to pure luck and friend's leaks, I finished it with all survey experiment. That is something! Hell all the Psychology majors! I'll never let you play with my hypothalamus, Cereberum and what so ever organ I have in my head.

What may happen for the days to come is far from my insight. Well, Im a good omen but not a dogmatic person. Is it going to be fun tomorrow or maybe the day after next? Would the world change and mess up our lives? I have no idea. But, though I would never see the future in advance, I always make sure that I'll never regret it when it comes. I don't actually prepare for it, but just setting my mind that whatever comes, may it be good or bad, it always goes. Nothing is permanent as they say. So if you think the world has forsaken you all this time, don't worry the person beside you might be the next and you would have his way of life after too. You can never prepare for the future. That is so dumb, I guess. Preparing for somthing you don't know what to prepare to? What a stupid idea.

[] Me or Not Me []

2007-09-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to do and it is too early to think of one. It's 5:53 am says my computer clock. I'll be having my first class later at 11:30 that is why I am still not pressured to work on my acad- related engagements yet. I woke up this very morning not knowing where my celphone is. I actually woke up the same yesterday because I have not seen it since then. I know that it is just somewhere here at home cause it is not a rare occassion that Im strucked by my stupid mind and lose my sense of space.

So how was yesterday? It was the start of a new beginning as I have heard from a song. I am back here beginning my formal start of my online diary. It was also yesterday that the most awaited , for uaap enthusiasts that is, cheer leading competition took place at the araneta colliseum. Was UP's performance really that extravagant? My friend even complimented it with the word "bongga." I am a UP student but as I watched them on studio 23 I felt bored. I thought if it did not make such an impact to me so should it be with the others. But for the information of all, they won the championship and the 5 straight strick by UST's Salingawi has just ended. Looks like the reign of UST ends here, and our run for a 6 strick win should start by now (6 because the 5 peat win of UST is the highest consecutive winning record of the said cheer dance competition). It must really be just me clouded by my ingratitude to the UP pep squad that is why I am not astonished to their performance. Congratulation UP Pep Squad! You are now absolutely back.

The fish came all cheering down. Jacob my brother who might just be equally stupid like me, his older brother, made the strangest act done to a fish bowl. Who in his sane mind would play with the fishes with his own hands inside the fish bowl? It was after the UP performance as i remember when the incident of the breaking fish bowl began. Poor fish bowl, lying by itself at the table in the hallway, ended his endeavor for a greater tomorrow for the gold fishes residing in him. It was fun to tease my brother as he rushes himself trying to save the fishes who dropped out of the bowl as its water spilled out. He even joked saying that he was to perform cpr for the fishes who at the incident died too.

I could not understand the world. How was it that in her good nature be so cruel? Look at the fishes, the fish bowl and even the water in it. Was it not that they were enjoying their own world? Was it not a human, someone out of their world, mumbled into them and broke their home? Injustice in its most simplest form fell on dumb ears. If only the fish could speak, how grudging must have he became. It is always like this in our world, the ships get the bigger catch than the boats.

[] Blogspot Betrayal []

2007-09-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, Don't ask any questions anymore. I myself am surprise to find out that I'll be willing to shout the story of my life here in public again, in a dimension which no man can walk through but everyone can travel through. All of the busy schedules, the stupid lonely days and all the problems crumpled into my face pushed me into halting all this life-sharing. But in a matter of seconds Im brought back here, to where I use to make up my dreams, sob my failures and cheer my success.

Why then the hell am I here now blogging again? I absolutely do not understand myself. What I remember is that I was all alone in front of the computer and with nothing to do. I look through the yahoo messenger and found no one good enough for a conversation. With my stupid ingenuity, I asked Jhector : " Tanung: mukhang luto yung sa UP noh?" Yes people, I asked the damn question and Yes, Im still a UP student. But that is not the question at hand, will go there later. There, so I begun a conversation with him. Before he left, he asked me if I made any new entry at my former blog. There and then, I realize why haven't I? So due to my weird intuition, I decided to make a new blog for everyone to laugh and woe about. Im saying thank you to Hector Rodil Franco 'cause he made a very wise question that he might be applauded of after some years when I become someone no man could ever be.

Next question: Why make a new one and why not retain the other account? First and foremost, evryone should know by now how stupid I am. Here is the big news: I forgot my username and password. See, that is why I'm here right now. Because now that I have passion I actually lost the place I could input my passion on. And to make things clearer to those people who have nothing more to do than make damn stories about my decision, I did not leave the blog because I want to forget the past. Im here because of the past why should I forget it. More over, if I am so into the no-past-yes-present-future mind set, I should have closed the whole past account. So stop muttering about my blog.

So this should be my opening remarks. Welcome me! A whole new adventure awaits us. I cannot promise any better posts because my life has not gotten any better. But I wish I could do so. I would'nt want to waste the bandwidth I share with all the other livejournal-ist. So here it is.

I present to you the life of a person who does noy know of anything but wishes to be something. A person whose only believing in his dreams and all that happens to him.Welcome all of you to a whole new world. I hope to make you walk into the picture and see through me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well what you are actually seeing now is my very shameful betrayal of the blogspot.com. It wasn't really my fault. But after messing up too much on the live journal.com, I realize I wasn't meant there and it is better off back here ,home. For those who want to see my account there which only has 3 posts and after which I cant take anymore here is the address : andrew0820.livejournal.com

Stop the drama. I actually was peaking through my saved e-mails and found my registration message in there. I got my password and now I am back. See you guys here, not in LJ. I hate the templating procedure in LJ. It is not html-basic friendly. So many stuff that in my intellegent yet incomplete mind is very difficult to understand.

And an additional information for the people reading this. The next two post would be the same as what I have posted in my LJ. Don't worry guys cause I'll not be posting there again so as not to confuse you. I'll be here. comments and tags are most appreciated. And Fucking Bot Advertisers, having my blog public does not allow you to spam very strange advertisements. I don't care about Bush or any wheel mags or ladies raped rapidly and intensively. I know you cannot understand this you Bots. So I'd better stop here... More of me next time...

[] CaNDLe []

2006-11-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

Im an absolute early-rise-almost-no-sleep person... Ive slept at about 12 and woke up at exactly {acc to my computer} 2:38... I have not even complied with half the normal-correct sleeping hours which is 8 ... Im not insomiac because I can sleep but I might just be used in waking up so early... I wonder when and why it started but its not fun going online at this time... because I get bored... No people to talk to... No music to listen to { my sound card is still broke... grr }... Not even a person in ragnarok to play with... hai...

Later... about 2 hours from now...{ it already 5:33.. I got reminded Im doing a post a while ago}We might be up to go to papi cio's house { a friend... Ronin} We plan to go to E.K. with our ragnarok buddies { Ronin!} today... Papi Tiki... Rex... Tine... Ate Shei... Kuya sher... Gudo... Ate Beh... Ate Marife... and some other people... This must be fun... its my 2nd time to join the band to go somewhere... and as far as Im concerned I believe this will be a hell of a day... specially with them who are very fond of fun...

Now ... before I get too excited... Im placing myself back to sanity to post this entry... Ive read an emo-ish poem yesterday and I cannot remember how it went... but all it says is... he hates his life and he chose to like to end it... with a line saying something like... I choose to put out the flame in my own candle... it is from katukayo {a letran scroll press...}...

Ive been saying for so many times... that it is so hard to be a "me"... living in my life is something outrageous... So many goals to put through... So many lives to take into... So many lies to speak through... So many things to hide into... Ive gone insane thinking... Am I person who makes my life too difficult or is it simply my own destiny to be placed in such a life I am obliged to live in? I cannot give in to my thoughts thinking... this is all a mistake... I know Ive been born to handle matters such as these... but its simply odd to live in it... when I know... It is to hard to handle and operate... Sometimes, you would almost think, it is impossible to push through with it...

I want to die... that is how I want to say it... I hate living in my life and if ever Im asked to live in it again I choose to stay away from it and live another... a normal life... Im not saying it is bad to be a little different... but it is hard to be different... living with people who are not like you... you'll eventually realize... You are so out of place and you'll fall on your knees saying... I cannot survive... I cannot think a single reason to say it is fun being me... well... it is fun having people around you to comfort you but having yourself like this... is another thing...

I might not survive being me... I might break through the morning as it dawns to rise... I might turn into a rest to plea my self from the friction of having a being... It is not good to be me... It is hard... It is not right to think Im having fun with it... cause it is not... Im restless and shadowed , by my own, Im weak... Ive gone too weak to live in it... and at last... 'till a long wasted life... I'll be just like the person in Katukayo... I chose to like to end my life...

I choose to put out the flame in my own candle...

scion

[] Me BuT NoT Me []

2006-10-30T13:09:00.000-08:00

It is 4:48 in the morning... I woke up cause its to too cold... I want to go back to sleep after turning off the electric fan... BUT... I CANT! You know the feeling of having a restless eye that does not want to sleep? It hurts... I feel tired... What a lucky guy you have here today...

I have been so unlucky as I for long my stay in college... I feel the pressure of being a student... I hate it... I hate commuting to school { cause my class is 8:00 , I dont have anyone to ride me to school anymore}... I hate going up and down the stairs every after class{ Ive been used to staying in a room for a long time cause teachers are the one who go to rooms in high school}, I hate enlisting and being able to choose your schedule { Its better off having an assigned room... cause I missed my major class in crs and I might be one of the people running through the halls of AS [near the cr] doing my manual enlistment}... I hate a teacher { sometimes you can't believe teachers... specially when they give you a 5... a 5? as if Ive done nothing... to add more to that I saw my test papers and Ive not failed even once... where did that 5 came from? I oathed to react/ battle /change that specially cause my other grades came too nice... I cant allow the fool to destroy the art in my grade sheet... hmmm}

See... Haven't I been a jynx-kid? Life has been unfair to me... hmmm... I've been a nice good person... Why can't I simply get an equal goodness to pay off for my angelic deeds? It takes too much to accomplish something good, don't they know that? at least a little insentive... please...

Ive been burning time doing everything... It might not be visible... but little by little Im resembling a GC person... Im changing my life... Im giving more time/ effort in my study... but what is happening? Im going down more often because of the stupid goal of achieving an honor... Here is a negative side effect approaching me... because Im turning to GC my standards are higher... means that the chance of failure and disappointment gets higher too... If I was abram-abram... I must not have bothered... and just go on with my life... but its not abram-abram anymore... its abram-gc-abram... 2 letters is a big difference you know... add the additional "-" too...

I hate it... But I'll continue... Im proving something here... I'll eventually see my name at those paper near the entrance to the boy's cr{ I dont understand why the university values the cr and they keep posting things there}... someday... You'll see... hmm... for now... I got to move another step forward... next week is enrollment day... and by that time Im going to transform again....

GC mode...

scion

[] oPeRaTioNaL []

2006-10-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

It has been long since I last posted... Everything, well as I surf through the blogs of my "kasabayans", has grown so much... I think my blog is too left away cause of my busy life... I almost forgot my password to open my account... thanks god my brain has not failed serving me rightly...

Well, it’s been a long restless life... Just like anyone else, I’ve got things oathed to be done... And I’ve served this lifetime so much; I forgot that more than this life... I also have my OWN life... I feel so stupid acting to fit-in in this world... My every action, as might also be like anyone, is subjected to other people's actions... Everything is like a domino effect that, to what position your block will fall depends on how the block before you bumps you... Why must we go with the flow? Follow the path through which everything has been going to? Do what the world has always done?

Can't we at least, for just some time, look into ourselves and say... “I’ve done it because I want it..."? Going to school... Doing your school work... Listening to pop music... dressing to what is prescribed... Part-taking over all the earthly pleasures and discomforts... This is the life... We go with the flow... simply because someone likes it... its popular... its in demand... we go for it... It is human nature to be absurd... to live in a life they do but don’t believe... I’ve seen people yearning to do everything in this life... forgetting their own life... and yet realizing in the end... they've not done anything that the world may be proud of... because they simply have been the same victims of the world's trickery game...

I’m looking up to those persons who have done their own way of making a difference... people who does not rest themselves to what the population tells them what is... They stand and speak up... act to what they desire and what they want to do... to live their own life in this life... to show the people that going out of the box is an adventure worth trying... and that a step out of it is a hundred folds better than hours of staying inside it...

I cannot believe for my own that I’m a victim just like anyone else... I’m a deviant... and hate to follow the path through which everyone takes step into... but living in this world is making me forget my own life... that I simply live it as this life... I want to make my own path yet as much as I do it the greater the force I am diverted back to the default path.... This blog.... I consider this an epitome of my being a deviant... speaking of being out of the box... even the act of having one is something I consider as having my own life... some friends ask me... Why do a blog? Well... answer is... coz I’m living my own life...

I’m dormant... I’ve labeled myself as a blogger told me I am... Offensively thinking... I’m a shameful... for some time now... I’ve subjected myself to the world's trickery game... I’ve played so much that I have been addicted doing it and forgetting... I’ve got a life to work on to.... So here I am... going back to where I’ve left... Building up something the world did not push me to do... the blog is now back online.... Remember... It’s not being the best person to live great in this life... but it’s the person that’s living that simple own life...

===================
The Blog is now Operational
===================

scion

[] TRuTH []

2006-08-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

What is truth? We may say something is true if it is successfully explained how that statement is able to come about in consideration with its premises and consequent. It must be able to satisfy the conditional and it must also be verified universally, also experienced by others. Relativity may also bring about truth. Due to the fact that now we have pre-formulated truths, If we have a statement we may say it is true if the coherence of the parts of the idea is supported by those pre-formulated truths.

Can we say that there exist an ultimate truth? I believe it does not do so. We must put into consideration that anything that happens around a system may affect the outcome of an idea or problem. In our real world,we say a person may do experiments, researches and information gathering so that it may help him in defining truth. If another person, however, does the same plans in another place opposite as the other it may come out differently. An example is Newton and Aristotle. Newton says things fall in the same rate without considering air resistance. Aristotle on the other hand says heavier objects fall faster. We may say both are correct the problem is their difference of scenario. Aristotle's scenario is suggested in a world same as ours while Newton's is somewhere without air resistance. Just as I say perspectivity and difference in factors are barriers for such a formulation of an ultimate truth.

If we say there is no more ultimate truth, then we say that philosophy is senseless? Philosophy is the quest for knowledge. I believe we are not searching for an ultimate truth but rather we question the ambiguity of ideas. Philosophy then still serves its purpose, to give reasons to happenings and be able to prove its possibility. I say that it is absurd to assume that philosophy will be senseless if we void the existence of the ultimate truth.The causality of things cannot show any sign of ultimate truth because it may be seen in different perspective as was said above but it does not void the possibility of an idea to be valid.

What if a truth is voided out because of another idea? We then go back to perspectivity. We may say the first idea is logically valid. However, their are instances when some other idea is more detailed which is why it is more accepted. Choosing which is true is not a problem there for it really just happens that another idea is detailed. It is simply stereo typed that if an idea is voided out of circulation it is already considered false.

My definition is different if compared to others. The definition of Truth is also something to be think about. There really is no common definition for truth as defined by many people. Even the truth of the "truth" happens to be a problem. But I say again, perspectivity does not void out the possibility of an idea to be true, rather it is placed in as a factor affecting the system. I there for conclude that the definition and assumptions I have presented are true if put in my perspective.

[] TuiTioN Fee []

2006-06-30T00:49:00.000-07:00

The iskolar ng bayan title... was given to the students of the University of the Philippines because people believe that they are given top - class education using the taxer`s money... but what happens when the iskolar ng bayan pays for their education in high prices? What happens when the low tuition fee rule is changed? Will people from all walks of life still battle it out for a slot in the country`s premier university? Will the present students ,who have been Iskolar ng bayan, still be able to keep up in paying the increased tuition fees? Will the students of the Countries premier university... still be fit in calling them selves... Iskolar ng bayan?

Many students from different organizations have been giving out leaflets, small talks and student memorandums this past few weeks... They are the staunch defenders of student rights in the university... They have been calling help and support from their fellow campus-mates to stop the university government in pushing thru the tuition fee increase ... LET US HELP... It may be wrong to protest... but what makes it right... is the fact that we are fighting for something ... something that if not acted upon may be snatched from us... that something... is formal education...

Who would want a tuition fee increase in our time? The country is experiencing political and economical turmoil... how can simple students, whose parents salary are not even enough to present food for 3 meals a day, be able to coupe up with the tuition when it increases 3 times the present? That may cause the desolution of 1/2 the campus` population... Education is a right... being in this university.. using the taxer`s money... making efforts to do good... academically and morally... is not obliged...however it is also not just a simple gift... what we have here in our grasp and so with those future iskolar ng bayan... is a privilege... a privilege to be educated just like ,if not greater, with those in the high payed campuse like Ateneo, La Salle, Letran, UST and many others.. in low cost..

the true sense of being an iskolar ng bayan... is gaining education in affordable means... but increasing the tuition from 300 to 1000 per unit is destroying the whole sense of it... honestly, I may be able to pay such tuition... however does this mean that putting it up is right? s0me people would not want to help cause they are thinking that they can fit-in in such a scenario... however is it right? first of all... being here in the University of the Philippines... gives us a task to be the future builders of this country... because of such a reason... We must be noted that we must fight for the right of every Filipino youngsters that may pass the upcat exams the same privilege we have from the past.... We must help in building the support for the generation next to us that they too... just like us... can obtain the affordable formal education the university has to offer.. another thing is that.... allowing such thing to happen may show them that we are weak and we will just allow any revisions in the university proper .... freedom to express and be heard is then oppressed.... after that we are left of nothing... what may be next? we don`t know.. and we must not let it happen...

It all starts here...

Ang tunay na iskolar ng bayan ay marunong ipaglaban ang karapatan niya... ang karapatan ng sambayanan... ang karapatan nang makabagong kabataan... Narito tayo dahil napili tayo... at kung hahayaan natin ang isang maling pagbabago... marahil tayo na ang huling magiging napili ng sambayanan ... wala man akong gustong i-implikang masama... subalit... tanging sa atin na lamang may napupuntahang maganda ang kaban ng bayan... pero bakit ipinagkakait pa rin ito sa atin... Tayo ang kinabukasan... kaya`t wag nating hayaan ang maling pagbabagong ito na sirain ang karapatan nating matuto... at mabigyan ng edukasyon... na kaya natin...

Ka-iska... Ka-isko... kaya natin to kung sama sama tayo... kaya natin `to kung di natin ito hahayaan... Ikaw ay iskolar ng bayan.... Patunayan natin ito... ang kakayanan nating magsalita at magpakita ng tama... Ikaw to... Para sa iyo ito... isko at iska...

Education may be the last existing thing we can show the world.. so dont let it just pass off your grasps...

scion

[] 1st WeeK []

2006-06-16T05:04:00.000-07:00

Classes has already resumed... Just like how it happens for the past 12 years... you wake up... get dressed... get things ready... ride all your way to school... meet old friends... meet new ones... you go off to class... attend orientations... and other more things I wont waste time writting... the point is... everything just happens as it always do... but their is one difference... you are now in a new school... new terrain... new place... new professors... and that new home im in now... is the University of the Philippines... Yes, my friends... Im part of the lucky people... who for some reasons... are accepted and is here to make something good out of the taxes you pay to the government...

The fees are not as high as the other universties... that is why facilities in the campus may not be the first class... the rooms may only be equipped with two ceiling fans... equipments may be lacking... but though in such a condition... Im still proud... Why? simply because.... " UP kc..." just like how the high officials who spoke their speeches... We might not have the best of equipments... We might not have the most highly paid professors <>... at least... the wisest of minds are here... that simple... that great...

Im proud to say... my schedule is one of the best... some people even envy me... why? let us put it this way... I enter school early.. and I end it early too... and when I say early... I mean EARLY! My first class start at 8:30 am ... and ends at 11:30 am during tuesdays and fridays... while 1 pm during the other days...

but though with such luck in winning myself such a schedule... I received an equal bad luck... Lets begin with my place of class... during monday & thursdays ... My subject locations are alternate... I shall explain... We have building 1 and 2 ... my first class starts at 3rd floor of bldg 1... the next class is in bldg 2 also 3rd floor... after which... the last class is then catered in the next room a hall way away from my 1st class room... which is yes... also 3rd floor... see!

The next bad luck... I thought I was not going to have a math class... and I was glad for that ... everyone must know I flunck my math class... ALWAYS! but all that was then changed...my major class is Philo 12... intermidiate logic... everything was normal... the syllabus was then shown to us.. in it... capitalized as topic titles: Propositional CALCULUS and Predicate CALCULUS... so much for my luck... my major is so Math-ish!! worst case... its CALCULUS... may be harder than Algebra , Trigonometry & Geometry put together.. and to make it much fun... I never listened in my proving lessons in high school... Isn`t that so great!?

So much for that... College might be a great adventure... oh well.. it all starts here they say... so... lets be happy we are here... That may be all for now... Go UP... Go CSSP... Go Philo Majors... Go block N-5... hehe...

[] daViNCi CodeS []

2006-05-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

what was in davinci c0de that pe0ple made a big issue 0ut 0f it? Sue me if y0u want... but ive res0rt myself in watching the m0vie illegally... c0z their is n0 chance i can watch it in a m0vie h0use... s0 Yes... a kid kn0cked 0n my wind0w when i was g0ing h0me last saturday... asking me t0 buy... and bec0z i really wud want t0... i b0ught it p75.. even half the price 0f the n0rmal m0vie ticket..

n0w n0w.. what`s with the st0ry that alm0st every0ne { even my father f0r that matter - he cursed me cause he caught me watching it and the stupid beast sp0ke as if he knew anything ab0ut that... he wish..} is against it... just like h0w i t0ld my father... are y0u that weak 0f faith.. that such a fetish blasphem0us m0vie c0uld alter the b0rn religi0n in y0u? Why are th0se pe0ple scared? what is their t0 be scared 0f? are th0se information true thats is why their asses are flaming with guilt?

early that saturday.. i was in the h0use 0f a cl0se friend... I was their t0 share their celebrati0n 0f blessing the h0use.. everything was n0rmal... the visit0rs the prayers... but their was 0ne thing that really made me mad.. the priest went in to my friends r00m { he was d0ing the wet-everything-with-h0ly-water ritual...} ... he saw the b00k davinci and said.. in insulting manner { as t0ld by ate she} `` wag it0 basahin nu ah... ung bible``... ha?! that was abs0lutly the m0st senseless thing i`ve heard fr0m a cath0lic priest...

havent the church knew that even jesus ... the pers0n they/we praise and l00k up t0... never apprehended the beliefs 0f 0ther pe0ple... g0d made free will.. he wanted us t0 ch00se what t0 believe... what t0 live thr0ugh... but what is happening is that we are given what t0 choose by the same person who taught us of the free-will thing... Why are they scared so much if they kn0w it was all lie... hmmm... they made it appear that they are m0re guilty f0r acting aggressively...

I myself... wh0se age bel0w 18 - the age wh0 they THINK c0uld N0T understand ... a believer of cath0licism... did n0t even take it seriouslly when i was reading the b00k... I was free 0f any d0ubt that it was true... but what made me think twice was the reaction by the g0d-centerd-persons..epitomes-of-the-almighty... voices-of-god... it was they who push me to think it was true... the book did n0t c0mpel me that much... the b00k was even far fr0m blasphem0us... they t0ld th0se inf0rmati0n... but the b00k did n0t dev0id the religion... they just said s0mething hidden... the wr0ng d0ing 0f the ruler 0f the church... but n0t the wr0ng d0ing 0f god and jesus... they must have accepted it... c0z even hist0ry supp0rts it... n0t the mary magdaln matter f0r that scenari0.. but the bl00dshed.. the killing.. the 0ppression... even the choosing 0f gospels f0r what THEY think is m0re useful... and 0thers hidden... i then thought... they were n0t defending god`s 0r jesus` divinity.. they were rather pr0tecting their 0wn self agenda.. their 0wn p0wer 0ver the w0rld.. as what is suspected...

They say it was scandal0us... that is why the are forcing its information lost in history... but have they not believe god that much... jesus taught... l0ve y0ur enemy... jesus taught... let pe0ple think what they think... jesus taught... let the people see and believe... jesus taught... believe in him cause when in troubled times he would be their to right what is wrong... jesus taught... the very 0pp0site thing the church has been d0ing n0w...

Im abram... 16 yrs old... living in caloocan.... son of virginia and estanislao... from the clan of lumbang and arabia.. I have read and watch the davinci code... I was b0rn catholic.. lived cath0lic... and will die cath0lic... Im here to serve god... but n0t the church by which the catholicism came from.. i still believe but d0ubts that the church is holy... find me if you want ... Im n0t scared.. I stand by my faith as a catholic.. but stands away fr0m the church... in my mind still lingers a question... who threats more of debunking my belief? the b00k and the m0vie whose artful creation was fantastic which is being 0ppressed coz of the LIES {as told by the churh} it has revealed... or the church that shows guilty bey0nd doubts...

Just like has it been said.. let them see... and let them be the one to judge.. which is which is not...

~~~

scion

[] NoN-SeNSe []

2006-05-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

Im making this post cause I want to update my blog but their is simply nothing great coming out of it... so here is what i`ve got for now...

What makes me sane for the past few weeks?

>> Roentgen text pass <<

I know not everyone knows this... or maybe they know but we keep on telling them the thing does not exist... Since the start of the summer... the roentgen people agreed on chatting with each other in a send to all basis.... it means everybody in the so called text pass circle is going to get the same messages that you are going to utter to anyone belonging to the circle... This craze was started by Ruth a few weeks after end of classes... and since then we have been using it and its been helpful in opening up to everybody... and kind of backstabbing also... specially those out of the circle..

>> Internet, blogging, friendster, survey <<

If you might not notice... my yahoo messenger id has not turned off for sometime now which means ive been online almost everyday and even everynight... You must also have noticed that my picture has been roaming about in the friendster`s bulletin board.. coz ive been answering stupid and senseless surveys just to keep my time some what productive... Ive also gone stupid opening links just like edgar`s that made my summer life exciting and fun { however it does not mean i`ll not kill edgar if ever i`ll see him in the near future...}...

>> Ragnarok <<

Maybe almost everyone in the world knows this online RPG game... Ive been hooked to this game since 3rd year... Ive been happy knowing my mother is generous enough to spare 100 peso every week just to let me buy my ragna load... uhmmm.. or should i say im just a great trickster that`s why my mother is buying my so sweet words.. oh anyway... that is it for these part... Ronin!!

>> audio - visuals <<

If your house is near to us... maybe some 2 blocks away.. id be sure you would be hearing loud rock music... which is if you must know ... comes from my room... Ive been putting the stereo-type speakers to maximum volume and also the mp3 player simply to make happy music... I even wonder why no one has been complainging... maybe the others are also bored enough so they resort with me with loud music.. Another cool thing Ive been watching these days is the japanes show gokusen... I love the story and how scenes were presented... another cool show is pbb... some may say I must be some kind of jologs.. but i think those who are wanting to tell me that are posers... pbb is a nice show and... kim is enough to make it worth watching... Go KIM!!

What makes me insane for the past few weeks?

>> Cellular phone <<

This makes me so stressed out since the night before yesterday... my celphone... one of the things that makes me sane... would not open!! I had used it earlier last thursday... but cause of an unknown reason... It just wont open... I could still remember that Id been using it that night when it suddenly hangged... I remove its batteries cause i thought their is no chance it will operate back... after doing so.. the stupid phone would not open anymore... I plan to bring it to a repair shop later this afternoon... and how I wish it would be in a good condition after that... hmmm...

>> Summer Heat <<

It is so hot... no further explanation ... everybody in these god-damn Philippines must have known that since April... hmmm

Look how senseless Ive been these summer... hmm... My mind would not even work great enough to produce better post than the likes... hmmm... I ive gone poor in english... I think... hmm.. I could see some errors from these post.. specially with the use of these and this... hmmm... but im too tired to edit it all up... so let us just leave it that way.. hmm...

[] beHiNd []

2006-05-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

Im here... feet wrapped up by me... residing in a cold and devastated ruins of the past... I was left here alone... longing for the warmth only an angel can let me feel... I feel my body turning restless and numb... I could not sense but these cold floor i have been lying on... and the only dreams i see are nightmares... Im here searched by phantoms... hunting to catch me off guard... wanting to break me into tears...

Im here... chained in the memories of a past... I could not stray for in every corner i see the face... the smiles that once made my own... It was me... that served my own worst enemy... I became an epitome of a history... of a story... a tale.. that has come to an end... an end i could not barelly accept...

Im here... watching through the window... a railing... that has served a wall between me and the world... storms came and i watched in awe as the rain kisses my window.. wondering how beauty was created... from a storm which from my sight was rather chaotic... how art came through... why cant i do the same...

Im here... having the sight of the sun as it rises and sets.. watching the horizon... wishing i could share these pristine beauty with someone... wishing the painting i took sight can make me smile a bit... but rather.. it smites me eagerlly and places me back to where i once passed... where once i was happy...

Im here... prisoner of my own thoughts... Im lying down for an infinity... wanting some one may pass by... to offer me up... wishing a wind may blow enough to lift me up out of these place.... I want to free myself... yet it is myself... that places me into these dillema...

Im here... and here shall I be... for i could not leave it any way... I have been here when the end began to start... when apocalypse was within my reach... I have been here as the pillars that held me... crumbled down... and i fell to darkness... It is a lie to say... the memories has gone out... every inch of what-was was doomed to oblivion... that everything that must have been was gotten over with... when i know for a fact... it never did...

~~~

scion

[] eTHiCs []

2006-05-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

what is right? what is wrong? who dares to conclude and stand up for his word? What has been the standards for such conclusion? Has heaven enumerated in complete detail what is right? what is proper?

A certain news alarmed me these very early m0rning... I caught sight 0f it fr0m j0mar`s bl0g...

http://news.inq7.net/common/print.php?index=1&story_id=74542&site_id=18

In what position do they have to tell us~ represented by a 7-year old child~ that we pinoys eat delinquently like pigs simply because we use spoon and fork? When has anyone seen a pig use utensils by the way? but i have seen pigs act w/o ever caring for beings around him... as indirectly stated.. I conclude that the manners exposed by whoever is concerned in labelling us is more rubbish and pig-like than what he posed us to be...

The standards of table etiquette does not necessarily mean that knife is used than spoon... Table etiquette imposes respect among those who share the meal... Utensils are just minor details... In such a case, the canadian must have respect...yet he showed rather barbaric manners.. unethical for an educated person...

who is he to correct a born tradition... who is he to stain the prestige of a nation... does he think simply because they are more powerful they have the right to conclude.. to undeliberatelly dishonor the existence of an ideal? does nationality credits to show an upright man? No.. they are in no position... they are not even right in saying it is an important thing to use knife for manners sake... If they live in such a country as ours serving dishes which does not even need knife in the table... they`ll rather look stupid than learned...

Talking about these matter does not only center on the simple idea of misconceptualiztion... rather what broader issue to be discuss here is racial discrimination... other countries must learn to show equal respect to those of other countries... We might be a 3rd world country but such data does not make us under anyone higher than our technology can handle... such position does not give them any license to allow them in pushing us down... They are simply alike among each of us... they have same pair of eyes.. ears.. even they have the hole in their anus just like us... what differences we have is the place to which we reside... which is not a reason for anyone to consider himself higher and gives him the right to unscrupulously dictate us...

Im a Filipino and Im proud of it... I use spoon and fork when i eat... I even use my hand sometimes... but that does not show that im pig like... its what ive grown from... but whever I see someone using different utensils than i do.. i never say they are out of proper decorum.. rather i accept their manner of eating... that is more ethical isn`t it?

scion

[] CoMRadeS []

2006-04-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

They are pe0ple wh0 lives with us in 0ur daily r0utine... they c0me t0 0ur life when we are m0st devastated... they share us their j0kes t0 laugh with... st0ries t0 emulate int0... w0rds t0 p0nder... they are their when we need them... when we feel we are left 0ut by h0w fast 0ur life is running... they are their when we get s0 dizzy running in circles with lifes m0st intricate r0ads... When we cann0t find refuge... when the st0rms caught us 0ff-guard.. when we are d0wn waiting f0r a hand t0 pull us up... they are th0se pe0ple we w0uld want t0 be with always f0r they care... they never left... they are always there t0 back y0u up... they are y0ur friends...

When we feel that the weight 0f life is t00 much f0r us... When we cann0t carry anym0re burden... when 0ur 0wn self - defiance has tricked us and keeps 0n pushing us 0ff the main r0ad.. t0 wh0m d0 we call... they are angels sent f0rth by the divine being.. they were sent t0 abitrate hell's bludge0nings.. they cater t0 0ur needs at 0ur m0st despicable state... we call f0r them f0r help... they are y0ur friends...

What are we with0ut them... we must have c0mmited the m0st dreadful acti0ns... we must have l0st 0ur way in these c0nfusing life... we must have placed 0urselves int0 an asylum 0f depressi0n.. they served us as 0utlets... we can set 0ur s0ul free fr0m bleeding w0unds with there guidance... they fill in the emptiness that we feel when we are left unattended by heaven's divine gifts... when we take stupid ideas int0 c0nsiderati0n.. they are there t0 v0id them away... f0r all they want is f0r us t0 be happy... they are y0ur friends...

they have been there in my extreme ups... and stressful d0wns... they made me wh0 i am n0w... they t00k me int0 their carriage and sh0wed me true c0maraderie.... they made me smile when i felt my w0rld was in cha0s.. they were there t0 put me back up when i was t0rn apart... they made me laugh when tears fell fr0m my eyes... Cheered me up as i live in my life filled with th0rns and blades...

I am thankful f0r their enc0uragements... their supp0rt when my 0wn c0uld n0t care me anym0re... My w0rds are n0t en0ugh t0 give gratitude... t0 sh0w h0w great they have been t0 me... h0w much I thank G0d f0r letting y0u pass by me.. and interfere and mingle with my life... thank God f0r all0wing them t0 have time t0 reach 0ut t0 me... THANK Y0U the m0st t0 th0se pe0ple wh0 served as my friends.. th0se wh0 sh0wed me that life is n0t that g00d... but their are pe0ple g00d en0ugh t0 make it 0ne... thank y0u f0r being part 0f my stupid life...

friends... they act like shit when y0u d0nt need them... but is w0rth g0ld when y0ur at the peak 0f y0ur fall... It is s0 hard t0 find 0ne... s0 if y0u already have them... never ever let them g0... cause s00n en0ugh y0u shall surelly need their hand when y0u already fall...

~~~

scion

Ive g0ne 0ut

[] LiFe []

2006-04-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

0ur life may be the greatest shit the creat0r gave us... it might be a sp0iled and stressful j0urney t0wards n0thingness.. It c0uld be a burden which is quiet a difference fr0m the belief that it is a gift... but even with such depiction... we sh0uld be reminded that it is abs0lutely SPECIAL...

have y0u ever th0ught h0w w0nderful has it been made that a human has the essentiallities t0 live, learn and d0minate... the exact mind t0 c0mprehend... the exact senses t0 predict... the exact c0mp0siti0n t0 which we shall survive... We were given the p0tential t0 surm0unt life`s greatest challenges...

H0w precise it is f0r 0ur life t0 be created 0ut 0f s0mething... Science may have pr0ved the pr0bable cause 0f life... h0wever they have been appr0ximate in pr0ving h0w accurate has it been that a child is born fr0m a m0ther`s w0mb... h0w perfect was it that the right elements that c0mp0se the b0dy c0njured int0 0ne amazing life... guess science is n0t that erudite en0ugh t0 get 0ver b0ard the supreme being... h0w ever pr0cess might have 0ccured 0n h0w i was created fr0m my m0ther`s tummy... I`ll beleive that i was hand-made by G0d... I was m0lded fr0m His sincerity... a hand must have been 0mniputently present in my m0thers`s w0mb and brewed me int0 a perfect creati0n.. a perfect pers0n... a perfect life...

Life as y0u live it n0w may have been t0psy-turvy... but that was n0t cause by life itself... it was created by y0u... the paintbrush was given t0 y0u after y0ur birth... G0d made y0u an art... He left it up t0 y0u h0w y0u`d make s0mething 0ut 0f a perfect art.. He trusted you... s0 while the paint is still en0ugh why n0t c0l0r it back int0 w0nderful c0l0rs...

Life is special... We cann0t see it c0z we have been hiding its glam0ur fr0m sheets 0f unending c0ncealment... we have been suppressing the gr0wth 0f a w0nderful fl0wer... that it must have always been... Life is n0t a trash if it were n0t made 0ne... It`s s0mething with shimmering elegance... an iridescent diam0nd turn dull by 0ur 0wn deeds...

While we have time t0 live it greater... why should we terminate... rather we sh0uld initiate... we sh0uld 0verawe every0ne... sh0w them the p0tentialities 0f life.... sh0w them h0w distinct life is.. life is special... and whatever happens it will always be the m0st majestic gift 0f all..

~~~

scion

Ive g0ne 0ut

[] LauGTHeR []

2006-04-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

What do we do when sorrow fill into us... when the feeling succumbs every part of us... When things re-act itself in our mind... when in our every deed, even with great resistance, they still surface... What do we do? what must be done?

sometimes... most of us resort ourselves to release every pain by crying... letting each droplet fall... hoping these are the parsels of our sorrow... hoping that as they fall things will ease in the very instant they set to stop... some other release the tension by cursing... shit them ~blah blah~... kill them all ~blah blah~... hell them ~blah blah~... and some other take a step out of reality and leaving everything into chance... in short... they just simply leave it there and make there life hell due to circumstances that made total wreckage to them..

Why should things come out worst? why must people put themselves into such options that makes a total different persona... Haven`t we taken into consideration the rule of equal trade? Isn`t it that in every loss their is something in return? so why snivel? why curse? why be crazy? why place ourselve to state of discomfort? I know one option that can make all the difference... Laughter...

Laughter... the initial reaction to express happiness... It looks so ironic to advise a person to laught while he is in a traumatic stage which left him with such great weight... but allowing a bunch of laughter sip into your lifestyle eagerly allows release of tension... stress... sorrow... problems... allowing ourselves to laugh... makes a breathing strike to our soul... taking in laughter into our daily routine... puts us into euphoria which leaves no space for sorrow to take entrance...

Laughing amidst a great dilemma... is simply hiding us from the reality that we are hurt... but making humor to your problems makes them lighter... why make a direct hit of resistance that would not work... when you can shave off the weight of devastation... inch by inch... but sure in laughing... I hate people who says we must face the problem to learn how to get over it... is getting over making a disaster out of yourself? is getting over making a memory out of such a thing you would not want to remember? is getting over putting us back to the battle field? Is that getting over? I call that suicide... thats placing yourself in a room of bombs you know soon enough would explode...

Life is still life... your sorrow was brought about by just a fetish part of your time on earth... so why waste the remaining time... in such a manner of locking ourselves up to a past that, whatever we do, would not change... We must be happy for in every trial their is a key to greater glory... for in every storm their is a sunshine waiting past it... all we need to do is putting in mind that we must make happy what is left of us... rather than focusing into something that need not to be focused... laugh out to things... and you`ll know waht mystique power it holds...

Laughter... takes off stress... links us out of reality... and plays a good role in making us happy...

~~~

scion

Ive g0ne 0ut

[] Revived []

2006-04-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

What the future brings is a great mystery... a t0pic in which the great phil0s0phers seek t0 f0rtell... what is there that t0m0rr0w shades... what is there t0 be hidden in such a manner where humanity has n0 image 0f... what is written in 0ur palms that we 0urselves cann0t see until they c0me... what is the future? what is 0ur destiny?

A n0rmal pers0n w0uld want t0 see his future... s0 that he c0uld change what is there t0 arrive... h0wever such scenari0 w0uld mean destructi0n t0 equilibrium... the manner in which the w0rld runs ab0ut... everything happens bec0z it needs t0 happen.. they happen bec0z there is need t0 do so... they happen t0 equalize and n0rmalize the life 0n earth...

pe0ple say that life ,as what is, has been written by a supreme being... written in scr0lls and manuscripts... encoded by wh0m we shed 0ur lives fr0m... a presedential decree f0ll0wed until eternity... 0ur life has been given birth even bef0re we are ever b0rn... the time by which i type this and the ideas that rushes int0 me is kn0wn even bef0re i turned this c0mputer 0n... every r0tati0n 0f life was made in advance...

What happens in 0ur lives were never mistakes n0r chance... they were all 0ath t0 happen... s0me things hurts.. but th0se burden were there with reas0n... s0me happy gags happen... c0z they are there f0r a reas0n... tears fall and cries ech0es... they happen... c0z their is a reas0n...

we may n0t see what the future is ahead 0f us... but surelly what may happen is n0t a fault... rather a destiny... what must happen is n0t chance... rather fate... what we are is what we must be... s0 never waste what is t0day f0r what is t0m0rr0w is s0mething s0 different fr0m what it was...

life was w0ven fr0m the first day it was made... Life happens... things are destined... it just takes wh0... h0w... when... it must happen...

~~~

scion

I`ve g0ne 0ut...

Mai RiM uoY eVoLi

2006-02-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

our life is a roller coaster... millions of swings... millions of turns... millions of twists... but just like any coaster... riding it is better with someone... someone you will feel safe... someone who simply bends everything to straight lines... some one who fills in the blind spot in you...

We could never change a fact when it proves its existence true... We can never deny something undeniable... We can never trick a lie to submit it self to be right... I make much of an intermission... but the wonder of words uttered can never challenge... words spoken in silent hearts... our hearts are just like morse codes... each beat has a meaning... however whose meaning hard to predict...

People may wonder for I dont really write such topic in my articles... Honestly, I might have been scared to tell... but now as I pass another wonder in my life... Their is nothing stopping me now...

In life somethings are so unpredictable... Some things just happened with out any alarms... After a great night in a promenade yesterday... I came up with one thing... To tell you people... The reason why I tell everyone else na : Tanong mo kay lord... cause some things are not understandable by men... some things just happen... do I Love her? hell do I do... And that would be one thing that would never change... a fact that forever shall take part in my life... a fantasy turn reality... a dream turn truth... She is the lady I shall not care to offer everything for she is all that I ask... She is all I love... She is all of me... Until the last breath shall I speak of her name... She is my life... my love... my past... present... future... I Love you!!

~~~

[a]scion[e]

[] PT genz []

2006-01-20T12:03:00.000-08:00

The 0nly thing we could cherish when we`ve got nothing to do are simple memories... Just like the games y0u play, the st0ries y0uve shared, j0kes y0u thr0w at each 0ther and having their c0mpany m0st 0f the time.

Yesterday, January 20.... iT was a happy m0ment t0 g0 t0 the mall and be with your friends just like what we`ve d0ne ... kulitan t0 the max... kantahan blues... t0d0 racing... wasakan ng kamay sa air h0ckey... kainang walng humpay... asaran na walang hanggan at cyempre kwentuhang walang humpay... It was s0 tires0me... paik0t ik0t... gul0....

I was actually late because I still went t0 my m0ther`s 0ffice t0 make stupid excuse just f0r her t0 all0w me 0ut.... shhhh... d0nt tell her... I did s0me stuff and cancelled plans f0r the aftern00n... and after that 0ff I g0 back t0 Faura... pass the supreme c0urt and UP... thr0ugh the right wing entrance and t0 G-b0x where I 0athed t0 meet them... b0x 7...

We were n0t cmplete when I arrived... s0me went h0me early... s0me 0ther ch0se d0ta... 0thers g0t s0me errands t0 attend and 0n Mai`s case... she was absent... and s0me just like me are 0athed t0 f0ll0w...

Ive beaten lhauny and baps in air h0ckey [ my ch0ice 0f game ]... We alm0st l0st the thing y0u g0tta hit cause it simply flew 0ut 0f track... Use the stupid racing machine... that w0nt allw us play vs m0de... singing inside b0x 7... mind y0u... I never sang at that time... playng the sh00ting game with kiankee... we l0st a bunch 0f t0ken f0r that game... eating mini d0ugh nuts... I like m0cha better than the 0ther 0ne... and many 0ther stuff...

Well... it was fun t0 have a stress-free aftern00n... n0 errands t0 d0... n0 b0ring time... it was pure fun... its n0t my nature t0 g0 0ut... but I ch0se t0 j0in in... cause I want t0 free my self... even just f0r a while... till next tym....

[] What? []

2006-01-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

What has been happening these past few days has been bugging me for sometime now. Everything happening is like one destined chain of events that makes my mind blow. What is happening to me? to everyne else? Is it just a new years resolution they are trying to abide by? or am i just practically insane simply because the change of events blasts on my face without any warning.

I hate the most when things starts to go against me. My every little support soothes itself to crumlble leaving me in awe. Every aspect of my life supprt begins to get scarce and my lack of these chokes me so much i cant barelly do my everyday choir. My head breaks apart mst of the time nw and i just cant think of anyway on how to go each day of living having such. Adds up is this hell-knws-it-sucks keyboard that cant produce a couple of alphabet pushing me to use an on-screen keyboard which for everynes knwledge is halting the arising ideas my mind fabricates in a rush and if not followed upon pops out, away frm any reach my mind can handle.

I cant speculate of any reasn why i began hating the year. Cant even think of any damb reasn its doing worst of my every breath. why cant it just cast its abnrmalties apart frm me and play it with sme other who would probably entertain himself with thse?

Life is too cruel. She abslutelly gives me the wrst of my nightmares. Why cant she just be keener to undrstand I cant handle the loads of stuff she poses on my shoulder? Im no mutant... Im no super human... Ive felt so stressed out. A catch of breath might have been the nly relaxati0n i had after a days course 0f events. My life sucks.

Ive been so pushed t0 things I w0uld n0t want t0 have and placed t0 places I would nt want t0 g0. I als0 hate th0se eyes that lingers everywhere as if listing up a data ab0ut me. Its like as if their eyes tells me Ive d0ne a massacre 0r that im alien flwn 0ut fr0m s0mewhere eating human flesh t0 fill my hunger.

Whats with y0u all? The year just ended and yet y0u make me crazy because 0f y0ur acti0ns. Are y0u all changing 0r is it me? as far as my instincts say... Im n0 different fr0m what I was. 0r am I just s0 hysterical due by my m0mentarilly l0st 0f intelligence and !ulirat! - cant find the right english that fits. I just am n0t s0 bright en0ugh t0 unerstand b0dy language t0 predict them.

I c0uld never be sme0ne everyne wanted me t0 be s0 st0p making me feel bad im just n0 mr. perfect. Ive been having bad days s0 please let me be. and please keep me 0ut frm the strangest 0f desp0ndency.

[] iVe BeeN TaGGeD []

2005-12-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

If you are here coz youve been tag here are the rules...

The Rules:

1.) The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover

2.) Need to mention the sex of the target.

3.) Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their Comments saying they've been tagged.

4.) If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

WAAA.. as much as I dont wanna wast my tym ... I just cant attmpt to end april's fun... so here...

Points:

she must be...

MACHULET: wala lng... para masya

MALIKOT: Wala lang... para machulet

MAHAROT:Wala lang... Para malikot

SMYLy: wala lang.. para masaya...

HONEST: cno bang ayaw ika nga ni april

maldita: para makulay ang mundo kc pag wala cla wala lang... HOI wag nmn sobrah noh...

Expressive: para nmn d ako magmkhang tanga

Masama: wala lang.. kc lahat cla gsto mabait eh...

Ung last tanong nyo kay lord... lam nya un... hehehe...

Oh... You've been tag ba? sali na... wag kj... heheh...

Ako rin ayaw ko eh.. kaya kung natag ko kayo sisihin nyo april..

WHaT aRe We FoR

2005-12-29T05:16:00.000-08:00

What is my life for? A certain part of my mind tells me so that it has made no decision regarding the matter. To be Ideal? That is an answer too broad to be distinguished; too broad it turns its reasoning absurd. What am I for? Is my life here for a reason? If yes, what, if no ,why.

Gyroscope,as i have read from a wonderful book of knowledge, is the state of continous search, movement, quest but through its travel it never ends to something. Its like an endless flowing river, a star roaming the vast universe or a ray of light moving in the horizon of space. I'm here standing between a thin thread not knowing what my life is for. Not knowing whether I am to draw back, to let fall or float to the sky. Never understanding why each day I live, why each night I sleep, why every morning I wake up, why am I to breath for.

A famous man once wrote that no man can know his true essence. What we have in our minds now are theoretical positions by what present knowledge, human truths for that matter, we do have. We face everyday, doing our every choir but why should we do such, why should we let our heart beat, Or even why should we die? What is everything happening for? Our existence is one big question mark. Maybe a one million dollar question as metaphorically assumed.

Im no different from anyone of you. I also am not equip of any intelligence to predict the reason by which my life does live for. I could not stand to anything for now just like how I used to do. Who am I to conclude? But as I stumble to such confusion I came up with something. As much as we want to know all, our blood and flesh still serves as an epitome of our weakness. We are absolutelly nothing. All the answers could never be known. Whatever we do only in the hands of our creator shall reasons rest.

[] a STaR []

2005-11-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

Here I am again left in the shadows. I feel numbness. I could not feel my ablity to move. All I am into now is sit and mourn waiting for a final crush where i would be turned to pieces. When every teardrop resounds as it falls down, memories remakes its scene in my mind.

I could see a star as it shines brighter and soon enough it became the brightest of all. But in a sudden mismatch, the star dashed down into the darkness, into a world where no smiles are seen; where no laughter is heard. It is where we reach oblivion.

The star looks back at the imageless coast where no sun rises nor sets. As he looks across the horizon all he see are the wonderous souls seeking the same exi to the cradle they are in. But it appears the place was never a cradle it was a prison. As the star tries to set free the weights fastened to him, he fears the heavens left him alone. He heard no horns, no flapping of wings nor the harmony of music by angel voices.

The star was left to stand in its own. As the time passes by, the same glow that flattered a thousand fades into the melody of sorrow. The star lost hope that, soon, from that coast shall rise a new morning. He loses hope and takes an endless sleep until the heavens heeds his call...

[] AcRoNYm []

2005-11-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

A	Ambivalent
B	Brilliant
R	Revolutionary
A	Awesome
M	Modern

These past few days I was left in front of my computer with nothing to do... Net gaming started to get boring... chatting as usual is not that in a fast phase and I had nothing to do between those intervals... I had assignments but for gods' sake who would do it at home.... not me.. so I was left hanging out around the net blog hopping... Just like how I figured out the gryffindor stuff... I also came across another blog ~ Calo's blog and was able o see these tag about acronym generator...

Ambivalent - unsure ; uncertain ; conflicting feelings about something...

~ am I such a person.. If you'd ask me it's absolutelly true... for certain reasons... I do am uncertain to what's hapening to my life... I cannot make it through... Everything simply bothers me... and here I am left in a damn state of buffer... not knowing to where; what; which; must be...

Brilliant - showing exceptional intelligence, ability, skill, or talent...

~ waht? me? somewhat yes... some people tells me so... but believe me I do not believe I have such EXCEPTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, ABILITY *blahblah* ...

Revolutionary - against something ; has own philosphy that he believes and defends against anothers'

~THAT is me... some people hates me for being such... I'm different too different... a natural antagonist... I do not believe in man-made facts... I have my own to believe and to stand by... Just like how a friend tells me... " Hai si abram talga... OUT of this WORLD... wag k na nga..."...

Awesome - so impressive or overwhelming as to inspire a strong feeling of admiration or fear

~ Absurd... I could never be impressive... appealling... not my type.. I'm too different... a freak... ad that does not make me an inch awesome... Maybe somewhere peoplesee meas such but hell do I know a large fraction looks me not a such...

Modern - relating to or using ideas and techniques that have only recently been developed or are still considered experimental

~Do you mean tech-y? I am absolutelly one... I learn too fast and get hook to modern time living... besides that I hava a simple way of life to show me I am one... my life goes likes this.... sleep- celphone-computer-celphone- sleep... hehehe...

Well someone's life is not ditermined by what words you can make out of his name,... in these case by use of binary sequence.... Their should be a billion match for your acronyms and who knows which really is that you obtaine... Just remeber simply because someone tells you you'd better be like these means you should abide by their standards... Your life is yours to keep... and what makes you different is simply because you chose yourself to be different... You may turn uncool because you are not like them... but being cool is being different and being different is what you are so you are cool...

[] GryFFinDoR []

2005-11-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

A minute ago ~ based on the time i've posted of course... I went past one of my friends blog ~danish. Well I was informed of a quiz he linked in his blog. It was a sorting thing for hogwarts' houses. Curiosity,maybe, pushed me in vsiting the link and finishing the whole quiz...

Gryffindor... me? yah...well I do not think its positive cause actually I would have had fun if I was in slytherin. I was surprise actually when I was assigned to such house... For your info guys I answerd the quiz with all honesty.. and as I was answering I was like more in the negative side... But strange... I was asssigned to gryffindor... well maybe it isn't actually true though that the good guys go to gryffindor after all.. We might as well not rely on the damn story of JKR ~ no offnse to his writing only the thing which makes the heroes come from gryffindor... But any ways that's all.. just sharing...

The sorting hat says that I belong in Gryffindor!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."

Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous.
Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

Get Sorted Now!

[] Trust is Just a Word []

2005-11-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

Whenever a story is told people react. They make big deal about so many things they do not even know. They make so much noise about a scene they never saw. It may be fun to think people such ways but what is hard to imagine is when these damn stories comes from the same person you oathed your life to. It is like " hey I'm your friend, believe me" ~he faces opposite you~ "Hey guys that kid is a damn fuck.." I hate people who thinks they are superior enough to destroy an individual's life simply for his own entertainment; They are superior enough to give out faked classified information which for hell does know from where he got the idea.

What can we do against such people? Those who hears them believes because his signature credibility is because he is my friend. I believe in him but he made sense to his own imaginative story. He built comotion about something the world never knew. He made up a story which in no part true. Who would believe me though? I know for a fact that people saying they do not do such a thing is labeled guilty. Yet for a mere fact I never even have done such a thing in my whole life. Who would support me? no one, cause what a great dramatist my past friend is.

He knows who he is. He might not be able to read this but for those who knows him and knows the damn story, I plead to you. Do not believe what you never saw. Do not under estimate me. I may act stupid but my mind is still whole to understand that I must not do such things. I know that my words may be for cleanliness sake, but I mark my word with angel's tongue: " I NEVER WILL BE SUCH A PERSON HE SAYS I AM..." He might not know that I knew. Or simply maybe, his strong ego is so proud not to recognize his already doing wrong.

For that person who should know who he is: I am not as strong as you in such a position because everybody thought I just wrote these to make false to what you thought was true. People though you are too perfect to be saying lie. I know what you've been doing these past few months and also with your co-existing friends who for I should know my friend turnd fiend. I knew for a fact that my reputation is slowly going down because of you and your crew's mischief. But remember I act civil enough not to battle out with you. I let you be for God knows I do no wrong. My mind is tranquil enough to say I am clean of such mess. Yet beyond my silence my soul is burning for revenge but I must not act beast just like the way you do. And another thing, I know my responsibilities and I know my actions. You may identify every error in my physique but never could you see behind my skull. Don't think you are smart enough cause even at this time I do no action somewhere out there someone is doing it for me.

Mercy is no word for a beast. Faith you destroyed would never be built again. Somewhere in the past I said I would always be there for whatever barriers separating us, but now that you yourself made your own guard, I'll still stand to what I say but neither heaven nor hell can save you when thy soul arises and its time for my offense. I'll act as if nothing happened between us but at least be humane and be ashamed for what degrade you made yourself. I'll not speak of your name for I am not like you who destroys ones opponents reputation to save your own. Rehabilitate yourself. You are good but it seems you've gone another road and you dared to equal with me. You may have everything I have but never can you keep it away for yourself. You might have strong back ups and all I have is my own persona. But I would I'll never rip my self of fear for a man you can never count quality from quantity.

[] Faults of Matter []

2005-11-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

In our grasp were holy grails of miracle waiting for its time. Man was strong enough to build bridges, to dilute adversities, to show supremacy.Man was the fortune of life. They had what it needs to be a god. They had something no other creature holds- POWER. They were justice. They had jurisdiction over what they see. They were resented for everything was envious to the god-blessed life they were given. However, that was Man-was. What we are now are man-is.

Man is the dumbest joke of all the living. They sympathize with worthless idols. Talking to stone gods who could never heed their call. They burst in laughter hiding off the grudge that is building up. They are scared because they are weak; no power; no strength; no life. They envy what others have for they will never have it. All they could do now is look back at the past. The past where influence was in there reach. Man became no one.

How can man be the greatest creation of heaven? How can they be the master of the living? How could they be the guardians of life? Why ask how? They will never be. All I know is that they are the heralds of the oracle. Here to bring what was oath to be- Apocalypse. We are the mere soldiers of hell. We are unknowingly, inch-by-inch, bringing forth the destruction of the gods' art.

Relentless are all our actions. We haste too much trying to be productive. However, what ever effort we yield, we still fail. We do nothing good. We try to reach god so much. Divine barriers are already neglected for the success of their goal- to be god, the god of all. Nevertheless, no matter how we do it, which way we try, whatever push we do, the heavens won't relinquished with mortals. We havn't proven anything yet. We are worthless.

Up to now, We are still the no ones, the has been. the trash of society. We are here for a reason but now all the reasons were amended. We have gone to fail and might still be 'til the future. What can we do? Nothing... We have failed to reach what is expected of us. We might as well sit down now, look up the sky,wash yourself with divine light and wait until Armageddon bolts in to the surface of earth. We shall then go to an endless rest and be free off the evil we have made out of life.

[]Chosen Ones[]

2005-10-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Is it really true that some people see light out of darkness; dreams out of nightmares; doors out of isolation? Is it true that some people are able to encompass the dread of hell? Is it true that from the pit of unending grief, they are able to stand up and fight back up? Is it true? or isn't just a self-conception to trick yourself that you can do it? Isn't just an imageless notion to show fallacious strenght to everyone? Isn't simply to defend ones great ideal from being moribund?

Life is no mystical story where magic and miracles happen. It is no superhero story where in from falling we jump up and hit a final blow and then we win. It is not perpetual doctrine just like the bible where you would be safe from evil's hands simply because a band of angels hear your call, where the dead sea divides for us to run to safety and falls off when our foes arrive, where from out of nothing heaven heeds your call and from Them falls life.

Life and failure are two synonymous words. Life is failure; failure to see; failure to know; failure to live in it. A few gains success, a few who eventually ends up just like anyone: failure. We can never stand back out from the eye of what menace might befall unto us. Everyone has a fixed quandary. A dilemma which will happen in the course of the persons's life one way or another. They happen cause they oath to happen. And from that, you'll come to a point of collapse. You've failed.

Falling are stepping stones to greatness? Yes, maybe for those many whose self-trust is incomparable. However, for a layman who is cloaked by weakness from the fall turns back to ashes with nothing to boast, nothing to raise, nothing to hold on. You might think these weak are poor fortuned. They never will be. To have nothing might be something we can never boast, we can never raise, we can never hold on to but it's something to cherish that some time in their life they tried and failed but never did they try again cause from many who retried many failed the second time around. Rather than doing things you cannot do why not focus on your strenghts. Weakness might be incurable but strengths makes miracles.Do what you can do and the rest will follow.

To follow someone's dust is worst of all. Better to seek out into the dark and see the enchanting truth than going by the main road. Make a difference, believe in yourself. Human's are inch-minded about life, they never thought their is more than going for the gold. Something more only the gifted could see, the chosen ones. They are those who knows what they can do and cannot do. They are those who learn that fixing weakness is trashing time. Strenghts are better sharpened to fill in to weakness' inability. And from that we make our own passage.

We might fail just like anyone but from what we have cherished we are able to create something of our own to boast, to raise, to hold on to. Different from the many. Life is failure but you are not life. Life may fail but you made its failure something special centuries apart from others who failed the second time around and never gained anything.

Be different `cause you are a chosen one.

[] Truth []

2005-10-25T03:08:00.000-07:00

Life is no free-misery zone. A part of what we knew was reality is built out of crisis. Every morsel of what we live in is no playground. What we have here in our life is one big battlefield. This is a place where stray bullets moves constantly trying to hit anything they ever stumble on. This is where the dispute between heaven and hell meets. This is where we can never save anyone from the heat of the battle. We need to decide on which side you should go. However, what we never knew, good and evil is not part of that reality. Decisions set no bounds about what is good or what is evil. Everything is made out of judgment. Everything is no right and wrong, no angels and demons, no heaven and hell. Everything is bound by reasons.

Some people thought a child’s idea is non-sense but for Someone literate enough to understand them, they are the wisest and greatest treasures of the human race. This is an example of the effects of fraud beliefs humans suppose. Humans believe those older ones are right; they are almost perfect; they are an each far from the greatness of the gods. How conceited. How vain. How arrogant. This was no fact. This was never right. They do are experienced yet that is no reason for strength, power, nor intelligence. They are simply like any other children, non-sense.

No one can say I’m bad… No one can say I am someone ‘cause they never knew… I’m no someone… I face reality such as they do… I do my thing just as they do… I cry… smile… laugh… just like anyone. Yet I’m quiet different… I’m better… cause my judgment says… They are no better than me… They say I am a menace… face it… your just scared to what I am… ‘Cause I’ll never be under you… I’ll never side with you… I know my logic… and it will never say yours is what I should choose… I live by my creed… I’m an angel… I stoop to no one…

[] Tears []

2005-10-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

Tears fall as they were since the god's commanded them to do so. The eternal water that runs through time has seen the heart of its creator. It has heard every cries, every sorrow, every faith begotten moment life has rendered to its master. No one could ever question how powerful the essence of each droplet of tears could be. Each of them is a masterpiece. Each pint is heaven’s way of letting us know the existence of emotional distress. Each one made sense to mendacity life has held into.

Pity those who never cried. Crying was never one of man’s privileges; it was an obligation. Its existence was heaven’s way of allowing our souls to travel, set free the encumber that burdened the life within. Tears are a key to release ourselves to human’s dreadful impiety. We will forever be chained to this inhuman world but though we could not move any longer, a cry is all we need to let our spirit take breathe.

Woe for it has to be done. Shameless more are those who never have taken part in the gods’ gift of freedom. Whimper those who want to do so. Never be scared because what man can never see is what heaven willed it to be. The naked eye sees not what the heart speaks of. Whine to what you want to. It has never been a weakness. To let out tears is harder than clenching a fist. Do not what your stupid repute says but what your ego is. Peace is not when complete silence comes, not when war ends, not when reconciliation is done, but it is when the divine weight of distress has been cried out.

A single drop of tears is enough to heal wounds incurable by any medicine. Resistance is unreasonable. Who could have lived a life free of tears? I may be a stranger a big no one, yet I would want to tell you a mere fact: A droplet of tears is the only way out to what science could never explain- sorrow.

[] Berserk []

2005-10-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Why are people so unfair to those whose side they never knew? Why are they so mean to those whose only manner of defense is there own self-public-built character? Why can’t they take things in both ways rather than visiting one area, then without checking the other, conclude immediately what they’d visited was better? Who are they to stand up and say they knew, but for a mere fact they absolutely do not? Every body has been a part of this world filled with inaccurate judgment.

We have been victims of prejudice, which is a cancer that turns more critical as generations go by. We, defenseless to this stabbings and shots, are degraded off guard. We, who kept quiet amidst every bludgeoning, are destroyed out of our own reputation. They looked at us like trash, as if we are nothing, simply because we stand away from the public’s eyes. What they never knew is that we are more than trash. We simply hide for civility’s sake. We are educated, bred with high pedigree. They are low beings, which is why we do not level with them. Why mingle with beasts of no erudite?

They may destroy us in there will. But we shall never plead. We need no respect cause wise men are those misunderstood. Those who puts others sacrifice are those who fail. Just like in a fairy tale, what makes things “happily ever after” is when those degraded lives up into heights and those who degrade plunges into the inferno of hell. In this case, our lives are made with fate. And it is not our fate to be what we are for the rest of our lives. Cause we are not made to be symbols of the lesser gods.

We are true blooded sages who know that life is not having others fault a bridge to greatness. We will not be like them who’d tell stories of no essence to cause pestilence to whoever they would want to destroy. Let them be, but they must always remember we would never be alike because an upright man would not battle against no warrior. Speak and I shall fight back. Do not stab me at my back cowards! I’m not scared I’m just civil as I say. I do not battle with insults I battle with sense. I build no glitches about my opponent; I take them down with facts. I’m no stupid being what I am. I’m more than what you thought I am. I’m made out of gods so as my intellect. And leveling with a trash-talker is not my occupation. So stop trash talking… Let me see what you’ve got. I’m no warrior so as you. But in war nothing is and nothing will be.

[] Complete Nothingness []

2005-10-16T04:07:00.000-07:00

Life will never be perfect. What makes life one great adventure is her imperfection. Why should I interfere to what she is? I'm simply one of those who walks by her shadow. I would want to flee; would want to free my self in this lie I've been living. But leaving out without life is simply saying : " I woud want to die..". She is one part of humanity that we cannot live without. We want it but heaven tends to push us away from her. The heavens would want to have life for himself. Who are we to change that? The truth of the matter is... heavens is so powerful... though our life is for our own... life is under there power... Can I do anything? Nothing... Simply as I say... I'm only a person who walks by her shadow. I'm nothing...

We cannot have the best... Coz if we would want to have both worlds... we would be like shameless heavens... trying to sieze life for himself... Better be nothing than something... Cause what makes errors are something... and the best are born from nothing...

[]An Angel in Tears[]

2005-10-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

~~Life is so cruel to those who goes against her...~~

~~Life is so mean to those who knows the path to her...~~

~~Why is it when you thought everything is perfect...~~

~~Life makes them crumble...~~

~~And down they go back to ashes and dust...~~

~~Why is it when you invested so much...~~

~~Life makes one great leap and destroys everything...~~

~~Leaving nothing breathing...~~

~~Leaving nothing existing...~~

~~Leaving only...~~

An Angel in tears...