You’d be lucky enough if all the pieces you pick fits perfectly into your grand schema. But, that is to say you are quiet heaven’s favorite. For most of us, we are in a roller coaster. We’ll need to shout because we barely have any idea where the turns and dips will be. But, we just always need to take that big leap of faith.
He is the child that tries to display his dismay and his gratitude to what this finite world offered to him. Never has he been scared. But, he is always doubtful. All that he seeks for is the truth that governs the very mystery of life and unfold its dreadful sarcasm - a life started to end. We are in no question in a bout we could never win. Hence, here he is to let you know what adventures he made and to render all the truths that he uncovered in this unpredictable realm of life.
Monday, December 31, 2012
The Resolute Resolution for 2013...
You’d be lucky enough if all the pieces you pick fits perfectly into your grand schema. But, that is to say you are quiet heaven’s favorite. For most of us, we are in a roller coaster. We’ll need to shout because we barely have any idea where the turns and dips will be. But, we just always need to take that big leap of faith.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Moved to blogspot.
Will you be so happy to learn that life as we know it is created to be destroyed? No, not the idea of the end of the world, that hoax tale made to chill the bones of people upon the arrival of this year and the same story that became a dwindling comedy by the coming end of the year. The life destroyed by age, by sickness or by malcontent. I talk of the life we lived every second. What comes of us upon the halting of breath?
Indeed, it is a journey no one has ever returned. No wondrous stories of dragons and castles has been truthfully told. We are in no way to grasp it until we reach our own. All that we know is that it is written in the stars that every single one of us is doomed to the unwanted promise of oblivion. And for now, though I wish not to leave, I seek a glimpse of its wondrous uncertainty.
The lines are in debt to another entry. For now, I highlight my return to blog spot. I cannot just leave all my creations in multiply and shredded into the eternal trash bin of the Web. So, there it is, a new beginning after every end.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
And after two years.. I'm back.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
One and a half Scribbling...
The last thing I would ever want to feel is to be alone. Who would want to feel that cold air as it touches your skin - piercing you through the bones? Who would want to embrace the darkness in its fullness - killing the life out of you? Who would want to feel the nausea of loneliness - crushing your heart's rhythm?
But tonight.... as I touch this keys I feel it all... and I am lost into the music once more - the symphony... it resounds itself through the walls of my room... and I could not rest back to clear it all because I am hurt... hurt in the faintest sense... hurt without the bruises and blood. But the pain... it swells more than anything I can imagine.. I feel uneasy... nearing the point of insanity... I could not think... I could not breath.. I could not feel... I turned numb in this few seconds I feel this very pain.
How ironic could things get? get hurt and be numb? how could I ever feel the pain if I can't even feel anything? or was I stuck with the pain all along which made me think that I am numb - for it is the only thing I feel right now? To which am I numb? to the pain I could not resist? or the world that tries to embrace me? Or is it the case that I am actually insane right now? Am I even making sense?
I am actually writing this without any basic purpose. I just wanted to release this pain. I would want to express it out so that it won't envelope me through out. All I want is to understand it all... I want to get the time to digest it all... I am lost... lost...
All I know is that I am sad... and what may be more to that I would want to know.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
To that Lady I Owe So Much
I've always been asked to wait for that one person that could make me happy. It was a hard journey to bump into people that you thought was the one - but in the end, it turned out that they never fit. It would hurt after that realization. We would not know where to go or what to do. We would feel alone during those glimpse of the memories where they made us smile.
I've gone through it all. I've tried paths which seems to go to a green land - but it turned out the place was simply too crowded for two. I've sailed to coasts where I thought people could wait - but it turned out it was simply just too far to even be heard. I've walked into places where things seems alright - but it turned out things weren't as easy to understand as it seemed to be. The journey was indeed hard. We needed to endure the pain of every heart breaks, and to learn from those where we've been. But the hardest of all is finding yourself willing to walk again. There was no certainty on which end we have to go. However, one cannot just stay put trying to rationalize a past. We have the capacity to forget and understand an end - where we realize that it was a misjudgement on our part to fall for the wrong person.
The search starts again and one would grow exhausted ending up with the same old circle. Nevertheless, one should not wither because journeys are meant to end. We'll reach a dead end where we'll meet that person that would make us happy. We should not expect her to be perfect - no one is. But, what is perfect is the union that you both have. This is when,even with our imperfections, we feel complete. Every person is a half, indeed. We fill in each other's incapacities - and within the populace, there is simply one that exactly fits and forms what we may call a perfect circle.
And tonight, as I write this, I am eager for people to undersantd one thing. I've actually found the one that fits - the one that makes my circle perfect. This circle that is not just mine to keep, but for both of us to nourish. It is not just because of what she could do to me, but also, what I think I could do to her. When not only a part is heeded but the whole;when not only a half counts but one; when not only one cares but both, this is when we understand that we've actually made it.
And to you my dear, nothing is more appropriate for me to say than what I actually feel and is willing to show and tell you for the rest of my life....
I love you.
Friday, August 06, 2010
Free Fall
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Roentgen Night Out Reunion - JoPao's House
UP KaPiTas February - KNL Booth * Batch Discussion * Tambayan Escapades
Notes:
* Justin B. is gay....
* Nasa isang bahay sila ni Usher.. omg...
* Nakaka-miss sumigaw for yesthursday...
* Ito po ang.. yes.. yes...yesthursday... ang susunod na up fair event......
* Kapitas is a block voting organization... the more you buy.. the more we vote...
* Kaya nga daw ni Cess dilaan yung siko nya.. as in..
* Bawal magiwan ng gamit sa tambayan.. inuubos ng tao.. *lol*
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
I tried to write in English.. pero BUMAGSAK sa filipino...
Tama... hindi na nga ako ang iskolar... I flunked big time... bragging rites off... meet reality... you're a normal kid now... adult actually... Gustong gusto ko pa naman ang euphoria ng pagpasa... mukhang napagkaitan ako ngayon... yung lamig sa dibdib at ung taas ng balahibo sa kamay... yung ngiti sa mukha na parang di mawawala... pero ito na nga... first time mong bumagsak sa isang bagay na gustong gusto mo... sana pala... hindi na lng ako nag entrance nung highschool at college sa magandang eskwelahan... para naman lahat ng swerte ko dito ko binuhos... pero ganun tlga... malas ako ngayon...
Tama... hindi ko na alam ang susunod... planado kasi lahat eh... kumuha ng law sa UP... maging lawyer... at maging magaling sa pagiging ganon... pero... ito na nga... hindi na nga pwede... sabi ni mama.. kuha na daw ako sa ibang school... pero... hindi ko alam... meron kasing ibang feeling sakin na nagsasabing gusto ko tlga dun eh.. at kung nd dun.. wag na lang...
Tama... nakakatawa na iniisip ng lahat na dapat ay umiyak ako... ang pinagkwekwntuhan pa nga sa bahay ay yung mga nagpapakamatay dahl sa bagsak.. punto nanaman yung family friend namin na si kuya jay... muntikin mo ba namang naglakad from UP law to luneta.. ng di nya inaasahan... umiiyak daw kc tapos lakad lang.. nagulat na lang cya nasa bay walk na siya... dapat daw ganun ang ma feel ko... tapos parang lahat ni yakap na ako para daw ma comfort.. pero di talaga.. di ko makuhang lumuha over it... siguro ganito ako kamanhid... okay lang kasi tlga... well hindi okay.. pero... wala naman tayo magagawa.. so we have to live with it... besides.. kung iiyak man ako.. dun na lang sa bar exam... well.. that is... kung kukuha pa talaga ako ng bachelor degree sa laws...
Tama.. malaking tama nga naman... tanga na nga daw ako sabi ng aking ama... well... kasi naman lintik na mga entrance exams yan noon.. at isang magandang academic track record... nag-expect tuloy yung matanda ng sobra sobra... kaya yun bad trip... so what.. wala akong balak i-please sya... besides kung cya ang kukuha.. i bet di pa nya matatapos un.. kesyo daw di daw ako umuuwi kaya di ako pumasa.. or baka daw nag-drugs.. or baka daw... aiwan ko... Doy! i can say tinino ko yung LAE noh... ginawa ko ang lahat.. kung di mo ma-realize un.. sorry ha... di naman kasi ako perpekto... tao lang ako... at noon.. taong kayang ipasa ang lhat kahit walang ginagawa... ngayon.. sa mata mo... taong di pumasa sa lae.. period... WHO FUCKING CARES?
oh well... tuloy tayo... ano na nga ba ang nawala... well... bye sa isang pangarap na noong bata ko pa naiisip... bye sa mga araw na naisip na nagbabasa sa may UP lib para makatapos ng case studies sa law...bye sa kayabangang ipinagsusumigaw ko... bye sa pagiging virgin sa pagbagsak sa bagay na gusto ko... bye sa lahat lahat ng pinagdaanan.. bye na nga...
kukuha ba ako uli.. di ko alam.. baka.. aiwan... saka na... hay nako... ganun talga....
Isang bote session lang.. at iba na ang nasa isip ko... as in talaga... ang gago nga lang.. dahl napapasulat ako ng ganito dahl gusto ko lang maglabas ng frustration.. ito.. sisigaw na.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*hinga*
as in wala na talaga... at para sa aking napakamahal na bata... hindi talaga ako iiyak... hindi talaga... see? sigaw na lang ako uli...
*hinga*
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
pero sa lahat lahat ng ito... isa lang nmn ang nakakainis... as in sobra... hindi na sa makapasa sa law eh.. hindi na rin sa maipagyabang ang sarili.. wala rin sa pagiging birhen sa pagbagsak sa mga entrance exam... ang masakit.. as in sobra...
PAALAM SA KOTSE NA DAPAT BIBILHIN NA...
di pasado eh.. pasensyahan na lang...
DAMN!
*face on palm*
Thursday, January 28, 2010
01-29-10 UP KaPiTas ACLE Avatar: More than the Pandora Project
Notes:
- Merong UP Fair sa maniwala ka man at sa hindi...
- Yesthursday ang may pinakamagandang line up... at ang "parkoya"(parokya) ay naka lock out performance... at kami lang din daw ang may fire works from dragon fireworks...
- Kuya: Puno na kayo? Luz: Opo Kuya: Avatar kasi eh... (mamatay ka sa inggit) *lol*
- Nauuso nanamn ang mascot-like actions at pag-pro-promote ni Mags.. In ka ba?
- Kapag "We" merong relationship yung mga taong gnagamitan nun.. di ba shims?
- Artista na si Drew.. IKEEE.. Ung BF ng pubcom head sikat na...
- Hindi pinagcocompare ang idea ng mga taong magkaiba ang contexto... Apps ha.. lalo na magkaibang field...
- Wala akong flash.. sayang ung Sunken Escapades kinagabihan... *sob*
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Restless and in Discomfort...
As I lay back in my bed...
Watching the light as it flickers...
Entertaining myself with the resounding silence...
Shaking the shivers off my feet...
Brushing my hand through the linen cloth...
Breathing in a perfect rhythm - deep and grasping..
Listening to that which pounds inside of me...
Feeling much awe and weight...
Trying to catch a level of drowsiness...
Failing at trying the previous...
Screaming in a sound that echoes nowhere but in me...
Thinking... Thinking more.. and thinking too much...
It is you that runs in my mind...
It is you that I want to hold...
It is you that I want to see...
It is you that I want to hear...
It is you that I love...
and tonight, as I wait too long to end...
this poem shall serve...
with all its wrong meters and rhymes...
the feeling I have whenever I'm not with you...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Kapitas Lecture Series * Failed Carnival visit * Kappaskuhan '09
Notes:
* Love is not blind...
* Pag si Bernard ang speaker... maghanap na ng halaman...
* Ang carnival sa QC circle maaga mag-sara..
* Plastic talga si Korina Sanchez... Grabe.. ngumingiti lang pag nag roll ung cam... ( Nakita namin siya sa shooting nya sa QC circle)
* Ang paggawa ng ribbon stuff ay mahirap.. pero practice makes perfect...
* Ang galing ng Psych na kumanta... ung may bulak sa ulo.. este.. bulaklak pala...
* Wag tatayo sa likod pag kasama si CHabs... kasi wala na siya makita... *rofl*
* Wag na wag kay cess mag-papapic.. kung gusto mong may makuha talaga...
* Importante ang Flash ng cam.. pero nakaktamad pmnta sa center... *yawn*
* Chabdru pa rin!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
KaPiTas November '09 Activities * Bonding * Kulitan * Paiyakan
Saturday, November 07, 2009
11-05-09 Semestral Break Semi-Roentgen '06 Reunion sa Trinoma
Notes:
* Di binibigay ang wallet sa boyfriend...
* Sa mga lalake... pag nag away kayo ng GF nu... itago ang wallet nya.... para di makaalis.. *rofl*
* Sa mga kelangan ng tulong.. tawag agad... kasi lab namin kayo... gagawa kami ng paraan... tska para di na rin kami babalik sa KNL habang nasa labas na pala kami ng Trinoma...
* Abram.. magkaiba ung north ave. sa circle.. sorry di naman ako napapadpad dun...
* Okay lang na ma-delay.. basta't si Cadoods ay andyan pa.. ur still on the right track...
* 250 na ang red box eat all u can lunch.. dapat nilang i-update ung nasa net...
* Si pau... kain lang ang pahinga... kanta all the way...
* Jhec... tama na ang baritone.. birit na kaya yang kinakanta mo...
* Si ruth.. kahit sumisigaw na sa kakanta... di pa rin naririnig.. haha....
* Si julian.. ay adik sa timezone games saka sa pagkanta ng napaka-lumang kanta...
* Si ayah.. bawal umuwi... babatukan ko yang bf mo.. nagpa-delay na nga.. gusto pa maaga ka aalis...
* Roentgen.. dapat na tayong mag-update ng contacts.. dahil walang kwenta mag-advertise sa fb.. d nmn lhat araw2 nag-online...
* Roent... Sa december daw.. overnight.. ang tanong saan? *everyone shouts* KAYLA PAULO!!!
* Miss ko na ang HS friends ko... hmmm.. mag-paramdam kayo.. pag-babatukan ko kayo isa isa... *rofl*
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I'm Officially not yet Registered
October 31 has been an exasperating day. We experienced 7 hours of waiting in line with no good food to munch on and a chilling atmosphere. It was really inviting to get out of line and simply go straight home to have a sumptuous hot dinner and to sleep comfortably on a soft bed with thick mantels. But, we were too eager to exercise our right. We did not give up. we stood through the hours and the only thing that brought us up are moments of humor – of speakers and stupid people being tricked to follow them; of hot-headed individuals fighting and rationalizing a stupid cause; of cheaters being snapped into their conscience after being barraged by a great number of long-waiters. After all the hassles we've gone through, I ask myself now – was it worth it?
Technically, we have yet to be officially registered. We'll have to go back on the 3rd of November to finish our biometrics proper. Nevertheless, we are sure to be allowed to use this right – this right that asks too much, yet, gives too little. Voting properly won't really be a big thing. My vote dissolves itself with millions of other votes – many of which are simply bought or are even of non-existing individuals. It will simply be a speck of dust in the foundation of the government that we wanted to form – it's not even bricks-worth. With or without it, nothing will really change after the election. Sue me for being honest.
However, we should not simply look at the effects of our votes only up to the election. We should look far – behind the unknown horizons. Registering is not really about getting that right to vote – it is showing the will to have a change. It brings hope to the country that has been too much devastated by corruption. Even if we cannot change the regime, we will serve as epitome of people who shows passion to this country. Our action would serve as a model to follow for the other generations that will come after us – and we hope, that in the near future they will eventually win this battle for change. This vote is, but a speck of dust, but it is enough to irritate people to change their malicious deeds; to touch people to give care to our mother country; to push them to vote in the next elections – until we beat the number of illegalities.
We still have a long way to go, but, it should not be a reason to halt us from doing it now. The earlier we act the shorter the time it takes for us to reach the end of that way. What we lack in this country are not good leaders – but rather, concerned citizens.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
09-10 B UP KaPiTas Sem Planning and Workshop
Notes:
* Masarap Magluto ung NANAY ni cess.. ung NANAY ah.. Nanay!
* Walang puso ang execom... grabe...
* KAREN! GRABE LANG AH!! HARAP HARAPAN GRABE LANG! (while staring at mai...)
* Hindi porket may sasalo... nasasalo.. minsan.. nag-2 back flip din bigla.. di ba Tim? nasa history ka na... *rofl*
* Team building ng execom ay lamang ng isang buhos sa team building ng mem last sem... *rofl*
* Habang ang mga tao ngaun ay nanunuod ng mga bagong palabas.. si Jane ay stuck sa felicity... grabe... sino ang manang?!
* Si Russel ay tambay at magaling sa billiards ang mga taga-marikina...
Pao: Bakit ang galing mo sa billiards?
Russel: Taga - marikina kasi ako.
Lahat: GRABE!
* Si Drew at Russel ay nagunahan... NAGUNAHAN?! grabe lang.. chercher...
* Masaya mag-ghost stories sa Kapitas.. lalo na pagkasama si Mai...
* Nakaktakot si Mia katabi pag-gabi.. parang mumu talaga...shet!
* Cool ang Concert sa Philo Summit! Walang aangal!
* Grabe mang-manipulate si Russel... dinadaan tau sa po/opo... grabe din si The boss... pati dito na wala sya... meron sya galamay... grabe lang... *rofl*
* Syet... ayaw na ayaw kong na-black out after mag-inom... kasi naman si manang ayaw mag-palabas... di tuloy nakabili ng yosi...
(ung nagpic sakin habang natutulog... sasaksakin ko kayo.. ang mag-post ng pic ko sasaksakin ko tlaga!)
P.S.
Ung mga pic ng you-know-what ay nasa akin... dahil bawal i-post... hingin nu na lang sakin kung may gusto kayo makuha...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Putting-some-person-in-their-proper-place 101...
Be a philosopher, not a smart-ass blabber. Still, being a member of Kapitas, I invite you to be my friend.
My Reply:
Acting Intelligently... doesn't really make you intelligent... You are simply making yourself nothing more than a laughing stock... *yawn*
furthermore.. if what you have said shows the real mind of a philosopher.. and if indeed what you say about philosophizing is true.. Then, I choose to veer out of it... because it is senseless for philosophy to seek for the truth if it will allow its conclusions to be illogical and be filled w/ fallacies...
Im sorry but I am not a hypocrite... so I will choose to reject the request... the name calling is so uncalled for... especially for a kapitas member who should have moral integrity... probably it is best to harness your rationality more than paying too much on barraging anyone that you argue with... Because the attack of another person is in fact a fallacy.. too bad you don't recognize them to be relevant...
good day..
Note:
Some people wouldn't understand... especially if they haven't read the cause of this... I suggest that you check on Andrew Adriano's Facebook wall first.. and find out there what actually occurred... for the seniors... Im sorry but I feel the stupidity of adding him simply because he is an alumni... Weighing everything... I don't think it counts anything more..
----------------------------------------------------------
I'm not a hypocrite... I do talk back when some people don't even have the decency to talk proper... Especially when I know how stupid they make use of their rationality... I pity them... That's why it is best to shut them up rather than continue making them believe the lie they hold to be true... *yawn*